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Old 11-06-2009, 06:49 PM
leeandlouise leeandlouise is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Indiana
Posts: 13
Default I think we must be related.

I'm in such a similar situation that I feel like I could have written your post.
Here was my initial (and only) post I made to this site. Mine was much shorter but had I continued you could have copied and pasted from me.
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=710
Here's the similarities:
For 15 years my wife was uninterested in sex with me. Most of her problems were because of some personal background issues. Over those years I had other possibilities (with different partners) but I didn't want to hurt her or make her feel inadequate, so I dealt with it. I just figured I was married to a fantastic woman who didn't like sex much. We also went for a year after one of the kids.
In the past year my wife has been developing a friendship with a mutual acquaintance of ours. I discovered it by accident, which was initially disturbing, but through many (a lot) of discussions it has led us to this point.
Through a mutual agreement and my prompting she has met with and proposed her physical desires to her new friend. He's interested, but on the fence at the moment. He told me that he's a little unsure of all this and wants to think about it. I think he told her the same thing.
But, here's the thing. I also find myself in a strange place. We've moved and I work from home and I no longer have that social network. I don't have any male or female friends at all and I definitely don't have any prospective girlfriends/lovers. ... although gay men seem to be attracted to me, so maybe I should switch gears (ha, unfortunately my wiring doesn't seem to work that way). Anyway, I've done some crazy stuff out of desperation. I joined Ashley Madison. Hated it. I answered ads from Craigslist. Had a very nice lunch with a 25 yr old student, but no chemistry. I'm at a loss. I don't want to be on a hunt for another partner. I really love my wife and I truly understand her new sexual/emotional awareness. But, through all of this I just feel lonely, kinda sad for myself, and lost.
Too bad we aren't neighbors. I'd love to hang out with you and have a beer or something.
I wish you luck as your future unfolds. I know I'll keep checking the posts to see what happens. I don't really have much else to do anyway.
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