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  #21  
Old 11-21-2011, 06:06 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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*hugs*

Patience can have its rewards. I hope it does for you!
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  #22  
Old 11-21-2011, 07:16 PM
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mekodesu mekodesu is offline
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thanx magdlyn. i can only hope so. my way of dealing with it all this weekend has been attempted drowning in school work... hasnt actually worked how i wanted since i am actually putting to much effort into one item at the moment and past a deadline i gave myself, but it helps some as do these boards actually. for now im off to class
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  #23  
Old 11-26-2011, 08:03 AM
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just got off the phone with B, the conversation didnt leave the best feeling in my stomach really. she went and hung with one of her very good friends who actually knows the situation and apparently they talked. (when someone tells you that you wont want to know what is your reaction? the hell i dont.)

so we talked

i realized a couple things while we talked (one is in another post in the general section) but the other was that she doesn’t really let go of past issues after discussing them in turn never giving little chance to be righted because the suspicion is there that wont be the case. (Skeptical)

i admitted to things i know i could do better, but i also told her that i cant really show you that im making the effort at them if you cant see it (the distance and mind you when this break started my last visit was a good one for both of us per her words) but now we are back on past issues leaving me again confused and feel hell i dont know what at the moment.

this talk left me pretty upset especially how it ended. so im back to not knowing what to do and being an emotional wreak as well as wishing i knew the possible outcome
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  #24  
Old 11-26-2011, 09:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mekodesu View Post
just got off the phone with B, the conversation didnt leave the best feeling in my stomach really. she went and hung with one of her very good friends who actually knows the situation and apparently they talked. (when someone tells you that you wont want to know what is your reaction? the hell i dont.)

so we talked

i realized a couple things while we talked (one is in another post in the general section) but the other was that she doesn’t really let go of past issues after discussing them in turn never giving little chance to be righted because the suspicion is there that wont be the case. (Skeptical)

i admitted to things i know i could do better, but i also told her that i cant really show you that im making the effort at them if you cant see it (the distance and mind you when this break started my last visit was a good one for both of us per her words) but now we are back on past issues leaving me again confused and feel hell i dont know what at the moment.

this talk left me pretty upset especially how it ended. so im back to not knowing what to do and being an emotional wreak as well as wishing i knew the possible outcome
*hug*
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  #25  
Old 11-27-2011, 04:49 AM
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thanx bassman that wasvery much needed
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  #26  
Old 11-28-2011, 06:58 PM
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one more correspondence with B this morning which leads me to believe that my relatinship as it was is done. and i am honestly at a loss of words because she is now convinced i lied to her or used her to be with bg... honestly im kinda floored because that isnt and never was the case and that is something i would NEVER do, its just not right.

reading what she wrote me today hurt like hell and made me furious because it showed that whatever efforts i made were not good enough for the expectations she had. my relationship with bg has always been different in that our deep friendship and connections there were behind it and i see now that was a problem, im kind of at a loss as to wondering what i could have (in her eyes) done about that?

i did what i thought best at the time and still do and worked not only on the relationship aspect with b but also building that friendship becasue that is what was and still is most important to me and i know we could/can have an amazing friendship, but now i am worried that if b and i do have a fall out that my friendship with bg who is my best friend may also be in jeopardy and that is a thought that kinda kills me some.

i shot bg a msg asking if i can talk to her later but now i dont know what to say, i dont want to lose either of them in my life and i dont want to miss any of the boys life that hasnt really begun yet, and yet i fear both may happen.

i am sorry to vent so much on here, but i know that here is where there are ppl who can really understand the situation from all sides.
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  #27  
Old 11-28-2011, 07:06 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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I know this is probably a scary step, but what if you let them read this thread? At the very least it would show both of them that you're sincere and blindsided by this. And what do you have to lose via radical honesty right now anyway, really?

I'm sorry about this turn of events, I really am.
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  #28  
Old 11-28-2011, 09:03 PM
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I think you can tell her everything you wrote here, just direct it to her. It's very clear.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mekodesu View Post
one more correspondence with B this morning which leads me to believe that my relatinship as it was is done. and i am honestly at a loss of words because she is now convinced i lied to her or used her to be with bg... honestly im kinda floored because that isnt and never was the case and that is something i would NEVER do, its just not right.

reading what she wrote me today hurt like hell and made me furious because it showed that whatever efforts i made were not good enough for the expectations she had. my relationship with bg has always been different in that our deep friendship and connections there were behind it and i see now that was a problem, im kind of at a loss as to wondering what i could have (in her eyes) done about that?

i did what i thought best at the time and still do and worked not only on the relationship aspect with b but also building that friendship becasue that is what was and still is most important to me and i know we could/can have an amazing friendship, but now i am worried that if b and i do have a fall out that my friendship with bg who is my best friend may also be in jeopardy and that is a thought that kinda kills me some.

i shot bg a msg asking if i can talk to her later but now i dont know what to say, i dont want to lose either of them in my life and i dont want to miss any of the boys life that hasnt really begun yet, and yet i fear both may happen.

i am sorry to vent so much on here, but i know that here is where there are ppl who can really understand the situation from all sides.
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  #29  
Old 11-28-2011, 10:46 PM
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talked to bg a little when i got out of class, i told her i almost msg's back and said never mind and the only reason i didnt is because i needed to talk to my best friend not my gf,wife or whatever. it was a good talk and thekind that i missed having with her. the reason i talked to her is because she has this amazing ability to not take sides on stuff like this whan its needed and she understands and see's both sides of it, listen, and be honest no matter what.

she told me a couple things i didnt realise i do when it comes to certain situations like shutting down or disappearing for a day or two (distance makes it easy and my last relationship also has a hand in why i do that but thats a whole other story). i messaged b and asked her to talk when she is ready and that i wont push it or force her too but when she is ready i will be, whats most important is that i dont start feeling attacked (or have the thought cause then it gets stuck) becasue then i get defensive and i dont have a reason to be.

so now im waiting to see, she actually just msg'd me back while im writing this but honestly im kinda scared to read it... if she does decide she wants to talk i cant be anything but honest with her thats all ive ever been becasue it matters to me and its important

maybe one of these days i will show them these post, they know the boards are here i showed them but im the only one who really gets on here.
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  #30  
Old 11-30-2011, 11:27 PM
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mekodesu mekodesu is offline
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im beginning to think im doing weekly updates lol

talked to B again today, NOT over text (thank god!) the conversation went well she got alot off of her chest and i didnt get defensive. it was good (she also caught me first thing in the morning) she said there were things that she had held in as to avoid fights on my visits home and from there things excalated emotionally for her feeling left out of things. i told her i dont want her to do that and that we shouldnt do that anymore

i also told her that i could and will do a beter job at letting her know how much she means to me and how i appreciate her in my life, which i dont think that i have done as well as i should have in the past.

i also told her that while i felt alot better after our talk i wont think that things are better because at times when i do (and dont hear feedback to state otherwise) then i think everything is fine... basically i will always be making sure i am doing what i need to to make her feel anything how she was. COMMUNICATION lol sometimes we let it slip i guess without realizing when we start getting super stressed and caught up in life.

talked some about the distance too, and how that sux. i think we would have less issues without it but ya know. so i think we are back to working and seeing what happens post after baby

so at the moment feeling better about more than i was and now homework because the semester is almost over.
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