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Old 11-28-2011, 09:06 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 495

Originally Posted by rory View Post
I totally agree with this. I see nothing wrong with trusting a person who seems trustworthy, it is not your responsibility to check.
I agree. However, to ME that requires some time to get to know somebody first. I don't think there is any way to know in the beginning if somebody is trustworthy, or just a good liar. Or even a bad liar-- that can take more than an evening with drinks to figure out!

Originally Posted by rory View Post
I would never do DADT in my relationships, I'm too much of a fan of openness. I can imagine some kind of a relationship with a person who has that arrangement with their partner. Though maybe I would be careful with how involved I become, and I would back off if I started to feel like it's too hurtful to be a secret.
Ditto. I don't do DADT, and I've been tempted a couple of times. But whether or not the people think it works for THEM, it makes ME feel slimy and gross and I would never be able to look at the person's partner without feeling like a slimeball liar cheat.

For me, it has little or nothing to do with the couple and their agreement and everything to do with how my actions affect my perceptions of myself. I need to act in a way I can live with and sleep well at night, and being less than honest is not on that list. My integrity is important to my general self-esteem, and no sex is worth compromising that.
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