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Old 11-05-2009, 10:00 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Originally Posted by dron View Post
I think the black/white re-negotiate or not issue has taken off in the comments. I <know> we need to re-negotiate, but I was hoping for some perspective on <how>, or where it seemed the real issue was? Suggestions? Any read on this that this is just a communication issue, or does it sound like something truly unfair taking place?

I'm also struggling to avoid ultimatum language. I know I need the negotiation to be happy, but how do you firmly communicate that without an implicit threat?
There is nothing unfair taking place. There apears to be a breakdown in understanding of what "boundries" are. The real issue is what boundries are for each of you. I know a lot of people have an issue with the idea of black and white boundaries, but really if everything is grey there's no point to establish non binding boundries in the first place. What's the purpose if they can be crossed at the whim of each partner? You may as well just say whatever happens is cool and just natural. I have yet to see lasting arrangements based on that philosophy.

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