I really appreciate you sharing your personal boundaries that worked for you and your partner. Seeing real world example really helps me understand how the underlying logistics works with this type of relationship. Kind of rubber meets the road so to speak.
Originally Posted by ChloeJane
I think you're being really mature in your realization and needs here. Perhaps one of your boundaries can tackle this subject of scheduling, and maybe as a hat-tip to your "primary" status, you can have "first dibs" on the schedule so that you constantly have fun and exciting things to look forward to her? Do you also schedule concerts, hiking dates (maybe hiking's not your thing, but snowshoeing is) etc? Those things are pretty exciting and fun, and are also super bonding/restorative in a relationship. I read an article once saying that one of the most important qualities of couples that are the happiest/stay together the longest is to have a core value of continuing to create exciting activities together!
I actually love going camping with the GF. In fact, it was my goal this year to go as much as possible. Unfortunately, when GF got real hot with 'T', she spent all her available camping time with him.
We also ran into 2 incidents where I wanted to take her to a band I knew she'd like and a comedy she loves for Valentines. Both were ... for lack of better word, 'cock blocked' by 'T'. She wanted to spend time with him at these concerts. She wants to have sex with him after these concerts, which is another reason why she really needs / wants to stay overnight this weekend...
I know I sound a bit bitter, but it's just another annoying thing I can't get over. I wish there's some way I can enjoy or appreciate this NRE thing via compersion or something. For the most part though, I'm just pissed that I keep getting 'cock blocked'. ugh, sorry for the rant.