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Old 11-24-2011, 06:35 PM
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ninnoli ninnoli is offline
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Default Very new to all this

Hi, all. I definitely did not expect to be in a poly situation, but things in my life seem like they're going that way and I like it! This forum has been a great source of information and I so appreciate everyone sharing their stories.

I am 36, in Oregon and have been with the man I consider my partner, G (43), for nearly a year. We have done well so far, his four kids (17, 11, 8, 4) get along great with my one (8), and we are very similar in how we communicate - operating from a place of compassion, honesty, respect and a simple desire to understand the other. No screwy ego or jealousy stuff. He's my unicorn (in the one-of-a-kind-mystical-creature sense).

Neither of us have been in non-monogamous relationships. I was the one who made the request in the beginning, with agreement that either of us would be free to bring up changes in feelings as we went along. We've both had flashes of jealousy, but talking through these moments were not difficult. We have no plans to cohabit any time soon.

A couple months ago I started emailing with a guy, Z (40), who lives about 45 minutes away. A couple weeks ago we met for the first time and the 11:30am coffee date lasted until 1:00am the next morning. I let G know when I was on my way back home and he was happy for me that I had such a great time.

It was clear very early in the date that there was a unique connection with Z. The man sets my mind on fire like nobody ever has (yes, I'm in the throes of NRE, but that doesn't make it any less true ). It was also pretty clear that we were on the same page, that the feelings were completely mutual (including the physical, if you're wondering .) I have been up front with him about G and he feels comfortable with his place in my world. Logistics are a bit of an issue, so we aren't able to see each other as often as we would like, but so far it's going very well.

The night after Z and I spent our first night together, G and I started talking about feelings and such. He verbalized feeling solid in our relationship, but I could tell there were some personal insecurities he wasn't yet able to verbalize. We talked through what we could and left it open, going to bed a little unsettled, but happy with our talk. I found the Aphroweb article on NRE and emailed it to him. When we were together again, we were able to discuss our situation with new information and at the moment are feeling really good about how things are. He continues to feel happy for me and I think he will be able to share concerns in the future, even if it's something I don't want to hear.

Right now, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. This is really new and I don't know what will happen, but I appreciate this resource. I feel like no matter what comes up that somebody somewhere here has something to offer.

Thanks for listening!
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  #2  
Old 11-25-2011, 02:32 AM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Location: Smack in the middle of The Spanish Revolution!
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Default

Glad to read that it's going well for you. (So problem-free relationships DO exist???!!!)
__________________
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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  #3  
Old 11-25-2011, 11:28 PM
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ninnoli ninnoli is offline
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Default Being able to talk no-holds-barred helps

Problem-free? That remains to be seen, but nothing insurmountable yet
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