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  #21  
Old 11-20-2011, 11:10 PM
riftara riftara is offline
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Default and Jen gets a girlfriend...

T and I had a long heart to heart last night, and the night ending with an amazing threesome with T, F, and me. They fell asleep together and I got up with the kids (hers spent the night too, so she didnt have to have her mom watch them).

I stepped into the room while they were asleep and I couldnt help but smile, the two of them spooning made my heart happy.

This is what its suppose to be like. This is amazing!

Last night was so full of love and respect and... holy, am i having nre for this? she wants a relationship with me, so im giving it a shot, ive never had a girlfriend before.

She said she has feelings for both of us and its nice to have them returned. I hope that F can return them too. I think they are there for him, but he has been holding back for my sake. I think that is why it upset me so much, I felt like he was lying about his feelings for her, and he always says "i dont want to upset you"

T and I talked today, she is now my girlfriend.
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John (Juntas)- husband


M - John's girlfriend
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  #22  
Old 11-26-2011, 06:59 AM
riftara riftara is offline
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Default

So our little threesome becomes more.

I still place T as secondary to me and defiantly secondary to F, but I am giving them plenty of time together, though its hard sometimes bc I want time with T! Hopefully tomorrow T is coming over and F is going out with his friends, so me and T get some time together. It so crazy feeling right now. I

I want to just cuddle with T and have alone time with her, which I hope I will get tomorrow (well today, since its past midnight) shes over now, she is spending the night and we are all going to be sleeping together. Im excited!

Ok, now to be sociable and such.
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M - John's girlfriend
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  #23  
Old 11-26-2011, 05:16 PM
riftara riftara is offline
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Default

Another great night with my boyfriend and girlfriend. We all got a little alone time and we spent time all together.

Im trying to encourage the two of them to spend more time together, alone. i know its hard with me not having a car, but it needs to happen.

I wish we had been alone when she got here yesterday, but i told a friend she could come over to save her from a guy who is bothering her.

This friend is almost getting annoying, but shes going through a rough time and she does do things for me, so its not like shes mooching, shes just always over.

We have agreed we need intimate time; now to figure out how and when with 4 kids involved.
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M - John's girlfriend
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  #24  
Old 11-27-2011, 03:46 AM
riftara riftara is offline
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Default

So I actually had F tell me I ask for sex too much. That was a hurtful conversation. He said it felt like our relationship was all about sex.

Which its not, and I did ask for sex about 10 hours after the last time, but I didnt push the issue at all.

I dont know how to handle this. Im more aggressive than he about sex and Im apparently have a larger appetite. I dont want or need to have any other lovers, but my gf and I dont get much time together.

I thought we were more in sync bc in the beginning, we had sex every day.

Im sad and confused. I cant help but think he wants her and not me even though i know thats not true, I mean he finally moved most of the rest of his stuff.

I love him, and he knows it really upset me, but he had plans tonight so we have to put off talking about it. Its probably better for me to talk to a few friends about it first anyway.

Im afraid more that hes pulling away because of Johns immanent arrival and the fact that lately his relationships havent lasted any longer than weve been together

I need to feel secure, and he seems to be pulling back. i know hes scared, i am too, but i think its worth it and he says he does too.
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Jen - bi female
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M - John's girlfriend
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  #25  
Old 11-29-2011, 02:11 AM
riftara riftara is offline
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Default Life is a Funny Thing

So after our "you ask for sex to much" talk, the next night / morning we had sex 3 times, all at his initiation. We also decided to try dom.sub for awhile. Its a role we both feel comfortable in, him my dom.

I am a little scared and worried and upset and I dont know why. I need a little cuddle time and F keeps putting me off, yesterday to setup his room, today to play a video game.

Its not him and T because they spent awhile together today and it didnt make me feel any worse. I kinda just want to cry, Maybe Im hitting depression again, but why I have no idea. I have every reason to be happy right now.

If John were here, he would hold me and everything would be better, maybe Im just missing him more, since weve had a lot of tension between us.

I need to pour my heart out but I dont even know who is best to do that with or where to begin
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- For the pursuit of happiness, not the sit around and wait for happiness -
Jen - bi female
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M - John's girlfriend
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  #26  
Old 11-29-2011, 04:12 AM
riftara riftara is offline
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Default Sometimes all you need is a little alone time

I asked F for 45min of alone time, no phones, nothing but us and it made me feel 100% better, now my 2 hours on the phone with john and T is over, so F and T get alone time while I talk to John, then all of us can curl up together, or maybe aill steal T away for some alone time with her.
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- For the pursuit of happiness, not the sit around and wait for happiness -
Jen - bi female
John (Juntas)- husband


M - John's girlfriend
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  #27  
Old 11-29-2011, 07:29 PM
riftara riftara is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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Default Things are going great

F and I have a date tonight, got a babysitter for the little one.

And T and I get quality time Wed.

Im getting use to everything, its becoming a lot easier to deal with F and T having sex. It turns me on, but when its over, I get a panic attack. Im working on it, well, we all are. The came in the room with me after they were done and had spent a little cuddle time together.

We all cuddled on the bed until T had to go home. She came over early today and crawled into bed with us. Im loving this so far.
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- For the pursuit of happiness, not the sit around and wait for happiness -
Jen - bi female
John (Juntas)- husband


M - John's girlfriend
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  #28  
Old 12-05-2011, 02:42 AM
riftara riftara is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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Default Time Management

We had a talk about time management today - over txt. We agreed to talk about it more in person later. We have a issue with it mostly because I cant leave here, with no car, and with them unable to go elsewhere, since she lives with her mom, who is VERY traditional. I mean F has a room here, but its next to the bedroom we sleep in. I told them that they need to take a night together, in his room, alone.

T and I got some alone time today, I love sex and snuggling with her. That kind of relationship is new to me, but Im enjoying it. I know its new to her too. We are both kinda shy and a little awkward. But Im enjoying it so far.

F and I will always have more time together since he lives here, but I need to make sure our time is quality, because he is so busy with work and the weekends are all he really has. He works 10's so he is nothing but sleep and work on work days. I understand it, and we still get a little time together at night, but usually hes too tired to really have a discussion, though we do sometimes have sex.
Lately hes been playing a lot of video games, he's needed the distraction, works been retarded and I think the new relationship status is stressing him a little bit. I know that he's been withdrawn, unless I specifically ask for quality time and such, which he gives without complaint or delay most of the time.

I try to give him time to himself, with work and the stresses of two fairly new relationships, he needs him time. I get time to myself and so does T, while I am always around, since as previously stated I am carless, and with the kids, I dont have the ability to get out as much. So, I have to give him time when Im here and its hard because I want to be with him.

So yeah, time management.
__________________
- For the pursuit of happiness, not the sit around and wait for happiness -
Jen - bi female
John (Juntas)- husband


M - John's girlfriend

Last edited by riftara; 12-05-2011 at 02:46 AM.
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  #29  
Old 12-05-2011, 07:58 PM
riftara riftara is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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Default So confused

T and I are stepping back our relationship, she's uncomfortable with where we were, so we are stepping back. It should be nice to just cuddle and stuff without the pressure of sex. I think Im looking forward to it.

F and T are going to do some errands that F told me we would do today on Sat. I found out through T, not F that he invited her to go, and implied only she was going. I decided to not get upset about it, at least not publicly. I told F that it bothered me because he said we'd do it, and he apologized. It involves going to meet his ex-wife, so Im not sure how I feel about him taking her. I so want to show up his ex. Thats a personal thing, and I know it is. I know I need to get over it.

My counselor says its an a-b-c thing, there is an event that makes me feel x, that only i can change to y. I can't control a.

I can't control how other people feel or think or what they want. All I can do is change how I feel, think, etc.

I can choose to be grateful to F for what I get from him, he gives me so much. And he asks for nothing, I try to give him anything he wants and all that he needs, though I know that I can't thats why he has T too. Sometimes the best thing you can do is allow them to care about someone else. Allow them to find someone who can fill them the rest of the way up.

Im a jumble of emotions. My thoughts are flitting from place to place. I dont even know what I am thinking. Im writing to look at this later and see what I was feeling and thinking

I know my thoughts are irrational and I have no basis to think them but I still feel like Im loosing him. I still feel like I am all alone. Things like him not coming to bed last night really hurt me. I need to feel like I have his attention 100% at least for a little while everyday.

Ill need to have that time with T whenever possible and I will need that time with John too. How do I make time for everyone? How do I feel like all my relationships are in a good place. I have to get what I need from these relationships. Right now, John gets up to 2 hours with me every night, over the phone, and it makes me feel connected and secure in our relationship.

I know I need that one-on-one time. Im needy I guess. I need everyday time. even if its just a little while. Over the phone works, when its the only option, but in-person and un-distracted is best for my needs.

Being strong willed about me needs is probably my problem. I really need to talk to F about my needs and that he has to fulfill those needs. I have the right to be happy and to be happy how I want to be happy, with the things that make me happy.

There are things that annoy me, but those are not things that dont make me happy. The things that annoy me only annoy me because Im not getting what I need.

Im just rambling I know, but I need a place I can separate my thoughts into reasonable and unreasonable.

I have no idea if anyone reads this, but I know Im crazy, I have proof. I know Im difficult, I know I demand a lot, and Im thankful for those who have been able to give me what I need and make me happy.
__________________
- For the pursuit of happiness, not the sit around and wait for happiness -
Jen - bi female
John (Juntas)- husband


M - John's girlfriend
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  #30  
Old 12-06-2011, 03:59 AM
riftara riftara is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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Default First Fight

So Robert and I had our first yelling fight, everything up to this point has been calm discussions on differences.

I saw something one way, he saw it another, and he felt accused by me, so it turned into an actual fight.

Then he did something I hate, picking up his phone to read a text when we are talking about important stuff or spending quality time together. I stormed off to cool down, which just mad him madder, we yelled a lot but it was still constructive.

He told me I need to not worry so much, and it seems that we always have to go with his go-with-the-flow way of doing things and not my plan-it-out way. I dont care if the plan works out perfectly, but i want a plan.

Im feeling like things are always either a comprise or his way, but never mine. I mean, we compromise on a lot, because we are very different in a lot of ways. And we stick to those compromises.
But I know I cant push him to plan when hes not a planner.
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M - John's girlfriend
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