Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 11-03-2009, 06:19 AM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default selling cheating!!!

What do you make of this????!!!

http://money.ca.msn.com/small-busine...entid=22458623

here is the start of the article....


"Toronto entrepreneur Noel Biderman knows better than anybody that sex sells.

Biderman pulls in "tens of millions" in revenue a year running a dating site called Ashley Madison. You might have seen Biderman's face on American TV shows like CNN, The View, Dr. Phil or The Tyra Banks Show. He's also received extensive media coverage in various large circulation newspapers.

Biderman says:
Why the fuss? Ashley Madison is aimed squarely at helping married people have affairs, complete with an "affair guarantee" that will refund you your money if you don't find someone in the first three months. The guarantee package costs $249 to purchase. Users can browse for free but must purchase credits to initiate a live chat, for example.

It's an objective that has, not surprisingly, generated a
firestorm of moral indignation.

It's also generated in the order of 4.6 million users worldwide, a depressingly dark statistic that underscores other statistics, such as the one that more than 50 per cent of men and women admit to cheating within a relationship at least once."
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 11-03-2009, 06:32 AM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

The sad thing is people would probably be even more outraged by a poly dating sight because it is commonly seen that people having affairs are at least trying to be faithful. Knowingly having someone outside of a marraige presses a button deep inside people.
My parents were less phased by my 17 year marraige falling apart as a result of me cheating than they are of my poly relationship. They understand and know affairs but being a married woman's boyfriend when her husband knows is just too strange. They are more comfortable talking about my affair....strange isn't it?
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-03-2009, 07:44 PM
LovingRadiance's Avatar
LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
Posts: 5,086
Default

__________________
"Love As Thou Wilt"
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-04-2009, 03:38 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

what are we all bothering for if this is going on.... oh ya! because it is more deep, long lasting, more responsible, doesn't cost as much and doesn't make someone else money!
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-04-2009, 05:32 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default Why Cheating vice Poly??

I've had an affair in the past and am now in a poly relationship. So here is my theory on why people chose the hidden path as opposed to the open path. This theory is based on experience.


Why would people decide to cheat instead of have a poly relationship?

1) - its way easier. Communication and understanding is strictly between the two people involved.

2) - It has the added excitement of "getting away with something". Who hasn't done something because there was a thrill in it being wrong or enjoyed keeping a secret.

3) - It is a self limiting entity. The functions of the relationship are very limited. "I can't come over and mow your yard because your husband will kick me ass but we can meet somewhere and fuck!"

4) - they can be emotionally limited so you don't have to commit beyond your own needs. "It's not that I just want to fuck you, but really we have our families to think about. I don't want you to lose everything."

5) - it can come and go without impacting a family or social network. There are a lot of affairs that happen without anyone knowing about them.

6) - there is a belief that the participants are at least trying to be faithful or shield their partner from the information that they are not adequate in all areas.

7) - they can be terminated with less effort because "what we are doing is wrong"

8) - your parents will probably never know


Why would someone want poly vice cheating?

1) - Poly encourages you to grow as a person where affairs make you digress into irresponsibility and self denial of reality.

2) - Poly acknowledges and addresses the pain and emotions of your partner where affairs play people for fools; this is probably the greatest source of pain for those betrayed.

3) - It has the potential to become a fulfilling dynamic that widens family structures and generate more support and love for everyone involved. Affairs have a tendency to destroy families and severely damage everyone involved from spouses to children.

4) - It can set a positive example of communication and understanding for people around you.

5) - Poly relationships can increase love for everyone involved; affairs take something away from people whether they know it or not.

6) - You can be free to openly proclaim love to people around you. Affairs can become logistically exhausting and brutally stressful.

7) - Poly relationships can end with friendships and deep connections intact. Affairs usually end with total severance of ties and anything positive gets lost.

8) - Once your parents realize everyone is ok, they can often accept and be comfortable with the dynamic. Most parents would probably have a hard time hanging out with the person you are having an affair with…of course they probably wouldn't know.


Want it mathematically?

Affairs = short term gain, long term pain

Poly = short term pain, long term gain


Unfortunately I am a person who seems to need to learn by experiencing consequences. I have experienced a lot of consequences in my life; enough to know who I am in a way I never have before and I am no longer a boy in a man's clothes. I have lost what most would define as "everything". I have no excuse to repeat mistakes I made in the past. No excuse…full fucking stop. Any repeat of previously learned lessons is not because "it just happened". The repeat of negative things I have done would indicate an ill person. I am healthier than I have ever been.

Peace and love
Mono
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over

Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 11-04-2009 at 05:34 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-04-2009, 07:08 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

Oh baby, I love you. I hope you feel so proud because you have worked so hard to get here. I am honored to be by your side.

I would say a viable alternative to cheating, if someone just wants sex, is to have an open relationship. Not that its not fraught with issues itself, but to me it is at least respectful and honest. Hopefully undamaging too it the people one fucks are also open and not cheating. Otherwise, its still cheating.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-04-2009, 07:16 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Oh baby, I love you. .
Lucky me!!
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-04-2009, 08:29 PM
MonoVCPHG's Avatar
MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default

I wonder how this guy is doing now that the news has reported about this story? Less or more business? My bet is on more.
__________________

Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes

Poly Events All Over
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-04-2009, 08:51 PM
redpepper's Avatar
redpepper redpepper is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,634
Default

Sadly I think I agree. Its all part of the "now," and "mine" culture thing that is going on today. Rather than the "ours" and time we used to have in North America. I swear we suffer from that daily in the form of road rage, getting rear ended by cars, etc.
__________________
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM
My blog
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-05-2009, 02:16 AM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Sunny FL
Posts: 344
Default

RP this is absolutely disgusting, what this guy is doing.... I had no idea some service like this was out there, but why doesn't it surprise us that some businessman has figured out another way to make some money? Isn't this just some way to legitimize a pimp?

Can you imagine what dregs those 4.6 million users must be? Oh yeah, the same kind of pigs that go looking for hookers in alley ways........

Mono, I like your way of thinking and your points very much.....I'll make sure my wife gets to read that page. RP, the moral indigination would most assuredly be pointed at us polys, because we would dare proclaim our consensual loves in public, rather than committing affairs behind closed doors......how screwed up is that?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
affairs, cheating

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:40 PM.