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Old 11-16-2011, 09:54 AM
Amitrye Amitrye is offline
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 17
Default Sort of new to the boards~

I'm Ami. I'm kind of shy and a very private person, so if I'm long-winded at any time I apologize for that. I have a tendency to dance around the point frequently.
I know a lot of people who post on this forum are poly. I think that's cool. I had one long-term relationship with someone who was poly and have been reading this forum ever since... I just recently decided to register.
I am 100% mono. I noticed a few other monos on here, and I notice that people are not discriminatory concerning that.
While I was dating the poly guy a few years back, I tried to define what I was. I guess people would consider me pansexual. I can love anyone- but I'm only good at loving one person at a time.
Anyways, I'm dancing again. This isn't really about me. It's about my spouse. He's come out to me as poly recently. No problem there- I've done that before and I don't mind being the mono one in a poly relationship.
My issue is with the circumstances. I've had multiple surgeries in the past year. I felt bad about this because I felt like I was a burden to my husband. I also felt terrible for not being able to spend time with my newborn.
What makes me angry is that disclosure of newfound poly ways came only after he hooked up with my longtime friend while I was in the hospital. He told me weeks after the fact that they were together physically while I was facing death in the hospital. I could not feel more betrayed.
I knew my surgery would be hard on him so I asked my mother to watch our daughter. I never dreamed this would be the result of some free time to de-stress.
I don't think I can accept circumstances as they are- even though I have accepted another partner being poly before. I have cut myself off from both my husband and my friend.
I want to be a loving accepting person again, but I don't think I can do so with him. From a poly perspective: am I being too harsh? Both of them say I am.
P.S. Sorry I lied. I guess this was all about me. >.<
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