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  #191  
Old 11-03-2009, 04:42 AM
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Ohhhh nothing....nothing at all
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  #192  
Old 11-03-2009, 07:08 AM
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okay, back to the real reason for this very long thread... if you don't mind Mono???!!! hhmmmm

Tonight I got a call from my mum inviting me out for tea. This is a big deal for me! If you followed this thread,
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...ight=redpepper
you will know why.

I have been having tea with my Dad and he often has said that I should ask her. I have told him that I won't as I think she should ask me when she is ready and has gone through a bit more therapy.

I dropped my boy off for them to take him on a trip to "their" property, which used to be ours until we came out and they asked us to sign it over as it was my mum's inheritance that bought it. When I dropped him off I couldn't help get choked up as I said good-bye. I told her I was very pleased that they saw it in their hearts to not cut him off from the place as we thought they would do. Also I was sad because I am still grieving that we may never go there again.

My mum told me that of course we would go there again and that she in know way wanted to keep us from it. She just wants to have her own input with her mum's money and that she would leave half to me and half to my brother in her will... in the meantime we will be able to go there.

She also mentioned that her and my Dad have a lot to work out and that she is spending her time in therapy working on that as it will help her be happy. Her issues are more to do with her own unhappiness in life than with my life as poly.

She said that she only wants me to be happy, healthy and beautiful, which I am and that she does everything for me and my brother. I told her that that is all very well, but if I am not doing what she thinks is right then she gets disappointed and I feel guilty for not living up to her standard. She tried to tell me that this is my problem, but I still need to further explain that it isn't actually....

Baby steps in the right direction... I have a lot of boundaries to set with her and a lot of negotiating our relationship if it is to be healthy for me in the future. Wish me luck tomorrow night!
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  #193  
Old 11-03-2009, 07:20 AM
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I'm glad your mum's starting to come around a bit.
Good luck sweetie. I really hope it goes well.
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  #194  
Old 11-03-2009, 07:25 AM
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What can I say about success and happiness tonight? I feel at the absolutely best place I have been in my relationship since meeting Redpepper. We were striving to get back to our pre-telling her parents happiness and comfort. We did that and better.

By being so stripped again we built our love and commitment back up better than before. I am completely at ease in so many ways. We love being together and her husband and I love taking care of our firey Redpepper...on many levels
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  #195  
Old 11-03-2009, 04:18 PM
Mark1npt Mark1npt is offline
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That's fantastic RP/Mono......so glad to hear some positive changes in the family. Nothing hurts worse than the feeling you're being cut off from something/someplace that means so much to you in your lives.
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  #196  
Old 11-03-2009, 04:33 PM
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The exterior doesnt do it justice. The interior is even more impressive - especially for an Auckland house of worship.

Does anyone have a picture of the Baptist Tabernacle at the top of Queen Street? Thats another impressive one
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  #197  
Old 11-03-2009, 04:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guitarcrazyo View Post
the exterior doesnt do it justice. The interior is even more impressive - especially for an auckland house of worship.

Does anyone have a picture of the baptist tabernacle at the top of queen street? Thats another impressive one
wtf??
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  #198  
Old 11-03-2009, 07:24 PM
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RP-that's awesome!
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  #199  
Old 11-04-2009, 06:29 PM
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Yesterday, Redepper had a nice tea with her mom....Why is this important? Because things are normalizing.

We have weathered an immense storm externally and internally over the past two months. We are now better than ever. Remove the word poly, remove the constant poly specific struggles, remove the issue of family acceptance.
We are simply us...all of us. We are just people in a relationship, members of a family, friends and lovers.

Last night Redpepper came over and I was almost concerned because there was nothing to work on. There was no dramatic issue to figure out, no question of how to make this work or even if we want it to work.

I don't have a TV or desire to spend time with her watching TV. I want to spend our time connected and actively sharing. Last night we read to each other from a book. She sat back on my couch and I sat between her legs with my back against her chest. We took turns reading and sharing a story we both have enjoyed before.

Of course there will be things in the future to work on but we are finally getting to just experience each other on a normalized, secure and peaceful plain. We get to try other things together now that all our work prevented us from doing. We get to discover and build up the fun things, the things we will do well into the future.
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  #200  
Old 11-04-2009, 07:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post

Of course there will be things in the future to work on but we are finally getting to just experience each other on a normalized, secure and peaceful plain. We get to try other things together now that all our work prevented us from doing. We get to discover and build up the fun things, the things we will do well into the future.
How wonderful. I am so happy for all of you.
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