Poly to Mono to Single to Mono to Single and keep on trying to get back
Always Polyamorous, often Single, seldom Monogamous but always Honest, trying to get back to that relationship space where jealousy is not celebrated but altruism is--the place we once and always belonged. Every love is different, every time. I try to find the true family I feel destined to bring together but keep drawing the monogamous kind of love my way in the process. What does one do when one continues to fall in love while one's partner is focused in stereoscopic vision on a plastic couple standing atop a wedding cake? Not loving the one any less, the plus one or more calls my love outward and upward, ever expanding. The only one's heart remains a single line that points just in two directions. It is chained to the mores of a society in relationship bondage, the paradigm refusing to shift where love wishes to go. Which way is better? For me, expansion brings peace and happiness. To the world, this makes me unsure of my desire. They don't know me but, by their definitions, should they own me? Is it okay to be owned in pursuit of freedom? No ill intentions are assumed on the part of the partners who can't see beyond them and me to three or four or more. Nevertheless, I feel responsible to push the boundaries of what is normal and, if possible, break them: to smash monogamy-normalism and the patriarchy for which it stands.