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  #11  
Old 11-09-2011, 01:46 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by Mooseknuckles View Post
Hello Forum!

I've been dating a beautiful young women for a year now and are very much in love. She's been honest with me about her bisexuality since she found the trust in me to do so. To be honest I'm pretty excited about the concept but have no pratical experience. I'm looking for any advice from those who care to take the time to share it with me. While I could just have random sexual encounters with misc third parties, it's not what we want. I'm not just going to share her with anyone. My first concern is in finding a suitable partner, as my GF is very modest and timid, so the job of finding another woman is falling on my shoulders. I've never had any problem in this regard in the past, but this is a whole new dynamic that I'm a little sheepish about. I've always treated the women in my life very well an had many great relationships as a result, most still continue to this day as friendship. I'm trying to avoid as many common mistakes as possible, hopefully with your help.

Is it wise for me to be seeking the other partner at all?

Do I ease into the 'I have a GF who'd like to meet you' conversation over time or just start with it?

Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated.

Thanx,
Moose

Ugh I have had creepy guys on ok cupid asking me to join them and their gfs for sex. I have had creepy guys on okc asking to join me and my gf for... you guessed it, sex.

I know it's every man's dream, but honestly? I am not that easy and neither is my gf. Maybe it's because were are in our mid 30s and mid 50s respectively.

If I wanna fuck a guy, I find a guy to fuck. If I wanna fuck a girl, I've got my gf for that.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #12  
Old 11-09-2011, 02:28 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Originally Posted by Mooseknuckles View Post
She's been honest with me about her bisexuality since she found the trust in me to do so. To be honest I'm pretty excited about the concept but have no pratical experience. I'm looking for any advice from those who care to take the time to share it with me. While I could just have random sexual encounters with misc third parties, it's not what we want. I'm not just going to share her with anyone. My first concern is in finding a suitable partner, as my GF is very modest and timid, so the job of finding another woman is falling on my shoulders. I've never had any problem in this regard in the past, but this is a whole new dynamic that I'm a little sheepish about. I've always treated the women in my life very well an had many great relationships as a result, most still continue to this day as friendship. I'm trying to avoid as many common mistakes as possible, hopefully with your help.

Is it wise for me to be seeking the other partner at all?
Moose,

First, do moose have knuckles? I'm very curious!

Second, and more importantly, your GF may be modest and timid but this is not something you should be doing for her.

Have you talked about her wants, about why she is bisexual? Some women just want to have sensual touch with other women but are not as into sexual relationships. Some want to have sex with women but not into emotional relationships. Some are biamorous - meaning they could fall in love with other women. And there are lots more variations, as many variations as there are women. Does she want threesomes with you and another woman? Does she want separate sex with a woman, apart from you? Does she want something more casual, less emotionally involved or maybe a full blown triad where all three of you are involved together? Or something inbetween? It sounds like you (MK) are more interested in an emotional connection with a possible female partner. Does the GF share this ideal? It's ok if she doesn't know - that's a lot to figure out! And it can certainly change over time and circumstances. It's also ok if you don't know yourself what you want. But certainly talk a lot about what you individually and you two as a couple want.
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  #13  
Old 11-09-2011, 09:25 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mooseknuckles View Post
I've been dating a beautiful young women for a year now and are very much in love. She's been honest with me about her bisexuality since she found the trust in me to do so. To be honest I'm pretty excited about the concept but have no pratical experience. (...) I'm not just going to share her with anyone.
When I first read your post, it wasn't clear to me that you were looking for a threesome. I'm confused, does "her bisexuality" automatically include you being there at the same time?

Speaking as a shy woman who is pansexual, I can relate to the difficulty in meeting and *eep* talking to women. I literally turn into the awkward pubescent boy when I'm around pretty girls. So I actually don't disagree with the principle of helping her find dates. People have been setting up blind dates since the dawn of time, and many good relationships have started that way.

If a guy came up to me in a bar and said "my girlfriend over there thinks you're really hot and wants to take you home, but she's shy. Don't worry, I'm not some creepy guy who's going to ask to watch or worse, join in. I just want her to have the experience because I support her, but I'll go crash at a buddy's place" then there's a good chance I would consider it, if I was attracted to her and so on.

If a guy came up to me in a bar and said "my girlfriend wants you to come home with us and have a threesome" then I would probably throw my drink in his face.

Lastly, you have to own something to share it. You may support her, encourage her, and help her... but she will be the one sharing herself.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 11-09-2011 at 09:31 AM.
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  #14  
Old 11-09-2011, 09:37 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Unicorn. I love the term, personally, because I think it's appropriate for what it describes. Yes, there are plenty of beautiful, available, bisexual women. That doesn't mean any of them will be a perfect fit for both people at the same time, in terms of a long-lasting emotional relationship.

But from what I've heard, there actually are a surprising number of women willing to just jump into a sexual threesome with another couple. I'm not one of them, most women on this forum aren't, but that's because this is polyamory.com and not threeways4u.com
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."

Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 11-09-2011 at 09:46 AM.
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  #15  
Old 11-09-2011, 11:28 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
Moose,

First, do moose have knuckles? I'm very curious!
I think it's the male equivalent of camel toe.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #16  
Old 11-09-2011, 07:13 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by Mooseknuckles View Post
I'm not just going to share her with anyone.
Ick. Possessive much? Crikey, she's not your property.

I pity the women you deem acceptable.
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