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Old 11-08-2011, 03:39 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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I thought you were looking for a unicorn too by virtue of the fact that you post from one account and because of your intro post that starts with this

Originally Posted by NathandDom View Post
We have been talking about and passively looking for a second female for seven years, but only recently have we began to actively pursue the lifestyle and relationship style we have wanted.
and talks of poly fi along with that (I didn't read the whole thread though). No biggy, but it is confusing... I can understand where Mags got confused. I was.

Sorry for the derailment of topic.
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Old 11-08-2011, 05:08 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Back to the OP, vanille, and her hubs Armani:

Just remember that it's not a race. The two of you do not need to both find additional partners to keep up with each other, be equal or fair, or anything like that. Generally women will have an easier time finding potential partners than men will. Consider this a blessing. Poly is new to you. Let's say vanille finds an OSO first. Instead of being anxious for Armani to find a woman, too, so you can both have one (sounds kids wanting toys, right?), let the change to your relationship sink in.

It will be a new dynamic of three, no longer two. There will likely be NRE to handle, as well as time management issues. See what you need to do to feel safe about vanille dating men from the internet. Take each small step slowly. Don't be in such a hurry. It could be several months before a woman open to poly messages Armani.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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Old 08-21-2012, 07:03 PM
cuninglingwist cuninglingwist is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 29
Default lovemaggy

let me understand, your bisexual and looking for a relationship with another female that will not be sexually available to your man, only you as her primarary and her as the secondary and he is ok with it. On the surface it sounds a little selfish to most people, almost being protective of what you have with your man.

To me I would say you are the dominant factor in knowing what you want, and going for it, and know what you dont want and thats ok.

You may want to try looking outside of polly, there are a lot of submissive bisexual females that are looking for a dominant mistress to cater to sexually,
not that you have to be overbaring or treat her like crap (amazingly many people think all submissives want this) its not true.
most bifemale submissives have a real need to sexually serv a bifemale mistress, to give up her control to only her primerary (you) happy to be the seconary knowing your man is off limits to her, unless she is directed only by you to give herself to him, this might be an interesting synario once you have trust and feel you have full control of her and not feel threatened. I think its worth looking at as an option, I personally think openminded bifemales are the best woman a openminded man can have, however its important that your man understands your bisexual needs, need be met in any way you see fit, after all its a huge part of who you are as a beautiful bisexual woman.
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Old 11-07-2012, 01:10 PM
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Bluecircle Bluecircle is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 5
Default How did you meet your partner(s)?

Good morning Everyone,
I am new here and to Polyamory and have a million questions. Those of you who are in committed relationships, would you share with me how you met your partners? I am just curious how all this came together for you.
Thank you!
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Old 11-07-2012, 01:15 PM
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Emm Emm is offline
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Australia
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OkCupid for all three of them.
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Old 11-07-2012, 02:26 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
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Location: Nowhere
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I met my Spouse in a bar, and I met my Other Partner through a computer-related group in the late 1980's (not a dating service).
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Old 11-07-2012, 02:44 PM
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Mya Mya is online now
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I met my ex-husband in a bank.

My girlfriend and I were using the same forum, which is not poly or dating related. We noticed each others writings, met face to face as friends and it developed from there. We were both in open relationships when we met and that's how our poly life started, after dicussions with our other partners things got serious quite quickly.

My FWB was originally a friend of a friend.
Me: bi female in my 30's
Live-in partners: Hank and rory
Partner: Yvonne
Exes that I might talk about: Zooey, Ray, Sol, Evan, JJ

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Old 11-07-2012, 02:50 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 394

I met my fiancee through a mutual friend at a Pride Festival in St Louis.
I met my female owner and boyfriend through the St Louis Rennisance Festival (remember that we were friends for 2 years and 3 years before any relationship started there).
My male owner I met through my female owner at a bar we frequent (since they are dating).
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
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Old 11-07-2012, 05:55 PM
Hannahfluke Hannahfluke is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 151

My husband and I met in a class in junior high when I was in 7th grade and he was in 8th grade. We didn't start dating until the end of my sophomore and his junior year in high school though.

My boyfriend and I met last year at a friend's Halloween party (though until he showed up he had no idea it was at a guy's house that he had just spent a year in Iraq with). A girl my boyfriend was casually dating invited him after he texted her that his plans had fallen through for the night, apparently telling him it was an orgy. Which is funny, because other than a vacuum bed being played around with in one of the basement rooms, it was a relatively tame party. He gave me his phone number and, since I had enjoyed kissing him the night before and decided to see if he was my type at all, I texted him the next day to try to find out more about him. We got together for coffee two days after the party and have been seeing each other a couple times a week ever since, except when one or the other of us is out of town.

The good majority of other people I've dated I've met at the local polyamory support group. They've caught my eye at meetings so I've usually been able to find them on OKCupid and ask them out. One person lived in South Carolina and I met him on polymatchmaker.com. Another person I met at parties hosted by friends from the poly community. I have met a couple people on OKCupid but both of those I only went on a couple dates with before it fizzled.
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Old 11-07-2012, 05:56 PM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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