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  #11  
Old 11-06-2011, 03:38 AM
bassman bassman is offline
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Magdlyn, Ive started the book ! It looks fantastic, thanks so much for that!!!

So, we (my wife and I, that is) had some good steps forward this week.

We had a lunch date ( a date is unusual for us, we have a little boy and not much family around to babysit ). We went out for lunch, and had a really nice chat and meal . Then, a whole lot of things happened to encourage me !!

1) Shes a bit of a staunch Christian, but she is a geologist too, and she's finally come round to evolution being the truth - (I mean, she works with the evidence all day !) This is huge for her - she's normally just taken anything that anyone says in front of the church to be the truth. So, this is a vital sign to me that she is starting to think for herself !!

2) She went commando style - (no underwear!) - ok, she wore jeans, so its no big deal, but it is for US/HER !!

3) After our lunch date, we went home and watched a sexy dvd - she has never done this before, and had always been outspokenly against anything like "porn" at all. So I chose a very soft one for us to watch, and she said it was too soft !! So she wants something more raunchy - I'm now seeking out female directors' porn (any suggestions anyone?)

4) She said she might want to get a tatoo - I said "just do it!" - so, we're thinking about where to have one/what to have.

5) She was telling me how, when she was a teen, she felt so unattractive. But she was remembering how many guys used to come round and see her, and that yes, they must have been interested, but for some reason they never made a move (I think her ultra-conservative church thinking put them off myself)

These are baby steps, but they are huge for her. And for me its really exciting to see her re-scripting those bad old scripts !!! I'm loving it !
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  #12  
Old 02-04-2012, 06:44 AM
bassman bassman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bassman View Post
Ordered them both now, hooray !
Finally finished the book a few weeks ago. And a friend of mine was very interested in some of the topics - I gave her the book.

Which book do you suggest I read next? (I've read ethical slut)
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  #13  
Old 02-07-2012, 09:34 AM
bassman bassman is offline
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Since about Sep last year, Ive never raised the subject of Poly, FWB, Swinging, or even "open marriage" - I'm avoiding all labels, I dont want her to have that automatic freak reaction to a word that most people have, and her being so conservative, I think she would have.

Though I did mention the other day, over a tea with her and a friend, how a "Dont ask dont tell" policy works for some couples. They didnt flinch and neither did she.


Yesterday, (after some amazing nookie!), she was a bit chatty, and she said "i'm so glad you came along, or else I'd be on the shelf!". I told her she was talking crap, and I reminded her that last year she told me about the boys that used to come and visit her. And then I said "and what about that lecturer who fancied you?"

and then 2 good things happened...

ONE - she said she is now "enjoying the freedom that youve given me" (relating to allowing her to chat, flirt, develop relationship/s, and get complimented with/by men). so she feels free - not my words, hers ! I am sooo chuffed that she feels that, and chuffed the SHE came up with that name/word.

TWO - She said she's been in touch with the lecturer on FB, and I said "oh following his status?" and she said no, shes been chatting to him on FB - again I'm chuffed she feels that freedom!! (sidenote - we've moved country, but we are going back to where this guy lives, and he's asked to see her - I hope I can arrange that).

I feel she's progressed a little (away from conservative tradition) - again, I'm just chuffed she came up with the name, and chuffed that she feels this way !
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