Let me say, I'm not trying to get on a soapbox here, but these are real questions for me... I truly don't get it when people, especially bi people, think that a same sex and a different sex partner necessarily give you different things. Love is love, genitalia is genitalia, sex is sex... if you truly love your gf, how is that "safer" to your marriage than if she was a bf? So she doesn't have a penis... she can use a silicone one. Are the genitals *really* that big of a deal? Or if it's an issue of masculine versus feminine energy, isn't it true that some women can have the former and some men the latter (and I'm not just talking about trans folk)?
Does your husband really just check the "male" box for you and if you had a bf he'd crowd out that box, or wouldn't you truly get different things from each of them because they're different *people*?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.