Originally Posted by redpepper
I recently wrote elsewhere (right here
) about how cheating is not poly to me and how frustrating it is that people who identfy as poly use cheating as a way of justifying their actions.
I wish everything could be as B/W.
I'm not one who can draw that hard line in the sand in many instances.
As we've seen so many examples of even just on this little forum, life is not always that simple. I've seen people who are obviously, truly, polyamorous but because of circumstances are - by what most would define - "cheating". Because they see no way out according to the "do the least harm" philosophy.
But on another note, I do agree with your overall sentiment that you also have a number of "abusers". And this too is just another unfortunate part of the human equation. Despite all the purest and best intentions, every group or movement has been 'tainted' by less that honest, ethical people. From the church to the government to the police dept. I only hope that most people are intelligent enough to make allowance for this fact also and not label the group by it's lowest member. It's a numbers game in the end. When the scales start to tip in the wrong direction - it's time to bail !