Need advice!

[xcharmedx]

I couldn't be monogamous in the sense that I want my freedom and I dont want to deprive the one I love from his freedom. I think monogamy is a social construct and unnatural. I also don't think that controlling somebody is a good idea nor is it healthy. I'm keen on the idea of open-monogamy, where u have one primary relationship. To be honest I don't like all of these categorizations; they simplify things too much. In reality I just want to be happy with no rules such as the rules monogamy entails.

[redpepper]

Poly is just more partners. If you like some of the other things that poly people talk about in terms of how to have healthy relationships and how to live a life of independence and yet commitment to those they love, then you can do it monogamously. There is no reason to have more partners if you think one is enough. What is more important is the health of your relationships. I know many mono people with healthy thriving relationships that live similarly to a lot of poly people I know. I also know some poly people that don't have healthy relationships that include one penis policies, veto power over others etc. as their base relationship structure (not as a way to figure out how their poly works as a starting point) and mono people that declare ownership over their partners out of fear and the threat of scarcity of love.

If you are indeed thinking that you need to experience being mono then perhaps you are right. This is your first relationship. Good luck with what ever you choose.

[xcharmedx]

Thank you all so much for your advice. It has been very helpful and very refreshing to get advice from open minded people who do not judge, and thats hard to find.

I really do love him and he can't be replaced, so I think ill have to work on myself for a bit.