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Old 10-24-2011, 09:04 PM
RedAndTall RedAndTall is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 5
Default Guys: How hard was that first step?

Hello all, Tall one here...
My wife and I have had a more "swinging" sided relationship where we only have one Girlfriend / Boyfriend at a time (one of each, currently looking for another girlfriend.)
The question here is that I'm talking to Red about opening up the next level of things and actually letting her go out on dates with other men (and women).
I've found the whole thought process eerily similar to the first time I shared her with anyone (It was with a guy that was with us for over 18 months off & on).
It's that whole stomach knotting and nervousness about the possible negative outcomes. The rules would be that there is no actual sexual activity (kissing, petting etc. is of course fine.) However I know all too well how that can easily be a slippery slope. I want to keep our sexual encounters with both of us present and I'm not ready to fully open up to solo sexual encounters as of yet. however that is something I think we may eventually get to but right now it's still a rule.
I'm trying very hard to rely on the trust I have for her but it's not HER i'm really worried about. It's someone she dates trying to get her to break the rules knowing them before hand and then that would set off a whole slew of trust issues with him, her, etc. etc.
So My question is... How many SO's gradually got into this or was it something you just jumped into? And what was the experience like? I know it's different for each person but maybe something someone has to say would allow me to breathe a little easier...
Thanks,
Tall
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polyamory vs. swinging, trust

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