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  #11  
Old 10-21-2011, 03:54 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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It's so interesting to me how women often seem to have more of a problem with their partner's emotional "affair" and men often seem to have the biggest problem with the sex. You're not alone, at any rate. I'm sure there's lots of good advice and techniques out there from other poly guys who've wrestled with this and come through it to find a place of compersion.
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #12  
Old 10-21-2011, 07:29 PM
poobah123 poobah123 is offline
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boy I have made one hell of a mess. My OSO is upset. My wife says she has nothing for me without him (which is junk I know, she is just upset). I feel horrible.

One thing is I reached out to my wife's OSO because me and him never really talked but more than 5 minutes. He reached out first last weekend. Perhaps after talking to him and building some kind of friendship it will go along way to making me feel better.
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  #13  
Old 10-21-2011, 08:04 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poobah123 View Post
One thing is I reached out to my wife's OSO because me and him never really talked but more than 5 minutes. He reached out first last weekend. Perhaps after talking to him and building some kind of friendship it will go along way to making me feel better.
YES! I bet it will make a world of difference to be able to see him as a real person, maybe even a friend, instead of just a competitor.

One of the best things about befriending your metamours is that they can give you invaluable insight into your partner sometimes. A silly true life example -- Eric and I were cleaning up after dinner once and I commented offhandedly that I am found it funny that Gia's said before that she find it too overwhelming when garlic and onions are in the same dish, yet I'd put them both in our meal without thinking and she'd loved it. He looked abashed and said it was probably because he loves those ingredients and always OVERuses them.

Translate that from cooking to emotional habits or sex, and you can see how that sort of "insider knowledge" could really come in handy!
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The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.
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  #14  
Old 10-22-2011, 05:18 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Good for you taking a break and letting everyone know what you need. I think everyone will be better off by you doing so. Why is your wife upset? You didn't tell her she needs to dump her boyfriend did you? She can go it alone no? Why do you have to be a part of all that?
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