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Old 10-21-2011, 04:11 AM
poobah123 poobah123 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 48
Default I don't think this is for me. What now?

My wife and I are involved with another couple who are also married. In brief, it started when I had an emotional affair with the other woman. Along the way, I thought why not polyamory? So brought it up with my wife once in a while. Well, eventually she and he ended up in love.

When it started I was VERY jealous. Most of my desire to have an OSO relationship totally went away. Whatever spell she had on me was lifted. At least it felt that way.

However I continued because I wanted to overcome my jealousy and give something special to my wife. Since then I have made lots of progress but I am still struggling.

Now I am coming to grips with the fact that being poly may just not be for me. If I decide to end this I will end up hurting everyone involved. Especially my wife who loves him very much. I love my OSO very much as well but I am sad to say that I have no desire to have a relationship with her.

If I do ask to end things, how can we "just" be friends with them. How can my wife and i trust each other? I mean once your given a pass and you know how special that person means to her, if there is a weak moment they end up being physical. My wife suggested we way need to move away.

Any advice? Right now I told my wife not to make any rash decisions as I am still trying to figure if the problem is me holding onto stupid emotions like jealousy and possessiveness.

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