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Old 11-02-2009, 07:33 AM
NightDragon NightDragon is offline
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 12
Default I think I failed

First let me appologize. I'm typing this through many tears and will probably ramble.

Things have not been very good here with the Dragons. I have recently discovered that I am controlling and have major depression issues that might very well stem back to my childhood. In short it has made me codependent.

On top of this, I don't want Dragonfly to be "IN" love with DragonBorn. When we first discused having anyone joining us it was mostly just sexual. When anything was brought up more it was ok for feelings to develop, but I don't think we thought ever feelings like this were possible. All we said to each other was, "You're mine!" I never would have thought DF would be "IN" love with anyone else other then me. And god damn, not in less then 2 months. Anyways... you have all heard that before.

Well now, DF is out talking with DB somewhere. She doesn't know what she's going to do. With either of us. She might stay with me and not him. She might stay with both. She might stay with him and not me.

How did I fail? Did I fail as a husband that cause a void in her heart that DB was able to fill? Did I fail as a human being? I love her so much that it feels like a HUGE sword is stabbed me right through the heart. It hurts so bad, and all I want to do is die so the pain stops. But I can't do that. I just today come to understand that I am included in the equation of her happiness. That I am at least part of what makes her complete. I hate that I have to share in "completing" my wife with DB.

On top of this I no longer feel complete. And so the pain continues and grows, turning and turning in a viscious cycle feeding it self in misery. All I can think of is maybe this would have been different if we would have discussed this possiblity? Would it be different if me and DB were bi? Would it be different if DB was a woman? Does any of this even matter if I'm going to loose my wife, the greatest thing that has ever come into my life?

Please someone I need answers! I need to know what to do!!! We have been comunicating. OMG, it feels like that's all we do is fucking talk! I'm so sick of talking! How do I get rid of this pain?!?!? What do I do to save my marriage? What do "I" do to be able to deal with her being "IN" love with another man? How do I not go completly fucking crazy when they are going to be alone, doing god knows fucking what let alone falling more and more in love with each other?!?!

Please... please... please...
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