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  #21  
Old 10-16-2011, 02:06 AM
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Here, we can all see what kind of sluts we are.

http://www.okcupid.com/the-slut-test
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I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
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  #22  
Old 10-16-2011, 07:05 PM
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I'm an apple slut...I'll fucking eat any kind of apple at anytime of the day or night...I love those things! Judge me.
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  #23  
Old 10-17-2011, 09:26 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
I think this is universal across all gender preferences. It's only because of the limited participants in this little thread that it might look to have hetro connection. Altruism is gender neutral
I've seen slut thrown at women/girls who didn't actually sleep with lots of people but were open that they had sex, and expressed that they liked sex. Yes, it is more common to be used about women or girls who have many partners. But if one has many partners, it is assumed by outsiders that one likes and enjoys sex, even if that is not actually true (I'm thinking of many sexual abuse survivors who may have many partners but sometimes don't like sex - they have sex to get other needs met). So I think that the 'enjoys sex' is still critical to understanding.

Altruism is universal but it is expressed in gendered ways. I think having sex for healing reasons is gendered. In our little, very unscientific survey, no men have come forward with situations where they fucked someone to make the other person feel better about themselves. I would be fascinated to read those stories!

I think it is much more common for women to feel this pull to help, to heal. In fact, I feel a bit abnormal in that I don't have this pull. (I'm truly ok with this but it is not the norm for how female type people are 'supposed' to be.) I believe it is connected with women's stereotypical greater empathy. Of course, men can be very empathetic - I am not saying at all that men are not empathetic. But it is seen as a woman's thing - to grok emotions - and men who are empathetic are not particularly rewarded for their skill. In fact, they are sometimes seen as unmanly.

Magdlyn's sacred whores were female (not mentioned in this thread but elsewhere). I'm not surprised that this dynamic happens in same sex, queer, transgendered relationships, including friendships but there seems to be a strong maternal thread here. I'm not seeing a similar paternal thread yet. I'm not saying it doesn't exist but it is suggestive that the 'distaff' side of things hasn't emerged here yet.

Interesting thread!
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  #24  
Old 10-18-2011, 02:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post

Magdlyn's sacred whores were female (not mentioned in this thread but elsewhere). I'm not surprised that this dynamic happens in same sex, queer, transgendered relationships, including friendships but there seems to be a strong maternal thread here. I'm not seeing a similar paternal thread yet. I'm not saying it doesn't exist but it is suggestive that the 'distaff' side of things hasn't emerged here yet.

Interesting thread!
Au contraire! There were male sex workers in the temples and on the hillsides as well. In Hebrew, qudesha is the female plural, and qudeshim is the male plural. I mentioned on the "when sex was sacred" thread there were "holy ones" of both genders.

In Greek culture when male gods were taking over the power from female goddesses, one of the first things to happen were that males began to control the priesthood of the female goddess worship. To do this, at first the males who wanted to be priests needed to present as female, to wear women's clothing, makeup, hairstyles, etc. Many also castrated themselves. There are stories of how a man would castrate himself and run down the street with his bloody testicles in hand. Whichever house he threw them into, the people that lived there would need to give him a dress, which he would wear for his temple duties.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
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  #25  
Old 10-18-2011, 02:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Many also castrated themselves. There are stories of how a man would castrate himself and run down the street with his bloody testicles in hand.
Ouch! I don't even have balls and they hurt just reading this.
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  #26  
Old 10-18-2011, 02:55 AM
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Ah they were probably drunk and stoned on who knows what substances at the time, and also in a state of ecstasy from the music and dancing and all that orgy stuff.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
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  #27  
Old 10-18-2011, 11:12 AM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Ah they were probably drunk and stoned on who knows what substances at the time, and also in a state of ecstasy from the music and dancing and all that orgy stuff.
Must be a good orgy, since it would be their last!
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  #28  
Old 10-18-2011, 01:18 PM
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Actually, women did have sex with castrated males. The penis could still function, at least for a while, despite loss of testicles. But of course, women couldnt conceive from that intercourse, which was the important issue in the patriarchy.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

There's no lying in polyamory!

I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 10-18-2011, 03:48 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Actually, women did have sex with castrated males. The penis could still function, at least for a while, despite loss of testicles. But of course, women couldnt conceive from that intercourse, which was the important issue in the patriarchy.
Learn something new every day!
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  #30  
Old 10-18-2011, 05:27 PM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post

In Greek culture when male gods were taking over the power from female goddesses, one of the first things to happen were that males began to control the priesthood of the female goddess worship. To do this, at first the males who wanted to be priests needed to present as female, to wear women's clothing, makeup, hairstyles, etc. Many also castrated themselves. There are stories of how a man would castrate himself and run down the street with his bloody testicles in hand. Whichever house he threw them into, the people that lived there would need to give him a dress, which he would wear for his temple duties.
I'm so glad right now to be female and in North America in the 21st century!
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