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  #231  
Old 10-12-2011, 05:13 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Woohoo! Me and Vanilla are right in the middle of wedding plan craziness. It's entertaining if nothing else.
Wait... are you guys getting married??
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Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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  #232  
Old 10-12-2011, 06:31 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Woohoo! Me and Vanilla are right in the middle of wedding plan craziness.
For yourselves? What the...? You've only been together a few months?
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #233  
Old 10-13-2011, 04:24 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Random thought the other day --

Eric and I could never be "sister wives" for obvious reasons. We would be "sibling spouses!"
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  #234  
Old 10-14-2011, 06:15 AM
twotigers twotigers is offline
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Random thought the other day --

Eric and I could never be "sister wives" for obvious reasons. We would be "sibling spouses!"
Wouldn't that be "sibling spice"?
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  #235  
Old 10-14-2011, 01:08 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
We would be "sibling spouses!"
You'd kinda have to stop the threesomes, first.
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  #236  
Old 10-14-2011, 01:54 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Originally Posted by twotigers View Post
Wouldn't that be "sibling spice"?
Oh yeah, I forgot all about that particular poly neologism. Sounds tasty, but awfully silly.

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Originally Posted by TruckerPete View Post
You'd kinda have to stop the threesomes, first.
Ha! Riiiiiight, incest bad, silly me. Threesomes forever!
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Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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  #237  
Old 10-14-2011, 10:32 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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I want a brother wife! You know, to cook for me, and stuff...
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  #238  
Old 10-15-2011, 01:48 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Little things.
[...]
I love to do things to get Bee to laugh and smile. He likes it when I stick out my tongue at him. I can change him quickly and I can calm him down just about as well as Gia and Eric can. They seem to trust me with him completely at this point.
[...]
Gia and I kissed today, warmly and repeatedly, on four occasions, three of which were in public.
[...]
I hugged Eric goodbye tonight and kissed the back of his neck and ruffled his hair. These sorts of gestures from me to him used to stand out to me, even scare me, but now it's just a regular thing. He hugs me back and he touches me here and there at other times when we're all together, puts a reassuring hand on my arm, squeezes my shoulder, brushes my back, in ways I don't think he did so casually before.

It's just been such a wonderful day.

All that agonizing I did a while back about "family", wondering whether or not I should talk to them about the concept. And now, I feel like family is happening on its own, in small increments and slight shifts, realignments and relaxings.

Love them, love them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Davis and I have had some really solid times together recently. Good conversations, good sex. I like best those chaste and sweet times when we're falling asleep or just waking up. We wrap around each other, hold each other. Safe. I feel wholly and unreservedly comfortable with him. He knows me, he trusts me, I know him, I trust him. Completely. He's solid and warm and dear to me. He's my best friend.
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
He's not asking monogamy of me. When we decided to date again, he assured me that he respects my relationship with Gia and didn't seek to limit it in any way, now or in the future.

We also agreed to wait at least 3 months before talking about me re-engaging with the casual partners I'd been seeing, and at least 6 months before talking about me initiating any new potential intimate relationships. The idea was not necessarily that we'd move forward with those things at those spots in the timeline, just that we'd wait at least that long to open up the conversation, moving at his level of comfort, with the promise that he would work at being more comfortable.
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Davis and I had a long talk last night over dinner and a walk. I admitted the depth of my reservations to him. [...] Near the end of the night he finally answered a question I'd asked early on and said that, yes, he's had doubts about our relationship too. [...] You'd think that confirming that we're both unsure about our relationship would leave us feeling more separate from each other, but somehow the opposite happened. I guess holding this all in and running it around and around in my head was distancing me from him. I found that I actually felt closer to him and better about things than before.
OK, it's now official: You have NOTHING to worry about.
("Everything's coming up roses and daffodils...")

"Little things" she says!

Except, of course, your TERRIBLE astigmatism. You commented on Rory's post, but passed right over [what was for me] the most important sentence in it:
Quote:
Originally Posted by rory View Post
It's not just a question of what he (and you) can live with, but also what both of you want from life.
I'd even go a step further than "not just... but also": MUCH more important than what you're willing to put up with is what you WANT (from life, but also from each other).
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If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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  #239  
Old 10-15-2011, 02:00 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Davis and I had a long talk last night over dinner and a walk. I admitted the depth of my reservations to him. [...] Near the end of the night he finally answered a question I'd asked early on and said that, yes, he's had doubts about our relationship too. [...] You'd think that confirming that we're both unsure about our relationship would leave us feeling more separate from each other, but somehow the opposite happened. I guess holding this all in and running it around and around in my head was distancing me from him. I found that I actually felt closer to him and better about things than before.
I think we often cause ourselves unnecessary problems when we worry that we don't match our special ones' feelings for us. ("I feel guilty because I don't love her as much as she loves me." "Why can't I be as sure about our relationship as he is about it?"...) To find out that the other has their doubts, too, can come as SUCH a relief!

And - as well and as always - good communication, being open, is of paramount importance.

(More hugs coming at you from Spain. I'm one of the "marshalls" in our city's contribution to today's World-wide demonstration for true democracy.)
__________________
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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  #240  
Old 10-16-2011, 02:22 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrFarFromRight View Post
Except, of course, your TERRIBLE astigmatism. You commented on Rory's post, but passed right over [what was for me] the most important sentence in it:
Quote:
Originally Posted by rory
It's not just a question of what he (and you) can live with, but also what both of you want from life.
even go a step further than "not just... but also": MUCH more important I'd than what you're willing to put up with is what you WANT (from life, but also from each other).
This can be analysed (and my last 2 posts resumed) as
a) Stop worrying about what might go wrong and enjoy [or as I wrote in a post WAY back: glory in] everything that's going right; and
b) Don't aim for "minimising the negative" as much as "maximising the positive".
__________________
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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