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Old 10-13-2011, 03:08 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
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Default Sexual healers and Slutdom

I've clipped out a couple paragraphs here from another thread because I think they bring out a topic that is important to talk about.

Redpepper - hope you don't mind.....

This from a thread that TruckerPete stared which was interesting.....
Originally Posted by Redpepper
I used to be a friend that fucked their friends to show them I loved them when they thought they weren't worth anything to anyone. I slept with most of my high school friends as a result. It was awesome to be able to give like that.
Unfortunately one or two bragged about it and I got to be known as a slut. I was deeply hurt and began to lose trust because I didn't know which friend had bragged. Small towns in Northern Canada... gotta love em. Still haven't lived that down and my being poly now has not helped. They think its just an extension of my slutdom. To them being a slut does not empower... there is no new age of sex positive shit going on there.

I have a friend that just experienced the same thing as I had this last summer, and she is in her 30's. She saw herself as a sexual healer to her best guy friend until the guy began to mistreat her by using her for sex and seeing her as a slut. He would get drunk and brag about it and tell everyone that she was a slut so he fucks her because of it. Really awful but not uncommon. I think a lot of women and perhaps men are inherently sexual healers, but have been used and abused so often they don't trust any more and don't give themselves to others that way any more. Its become self preservation I think.
I agree this has been an age old problem. But what's most difficult I feel is embracing that 'label' and rising above the negativity normally associated with it. And yes, it is somewhat similar to what prostitutes endure. And looking back over history you'll find some professionals who have made this leap - risen above the negativity. They are proud of their profession and have developed ways to let the stigma run off their backs.
I've seen the same thing with the 'slut' label. I've known a few and some that were actually proud of it. Justifiably so.
Because they WERE actually healers - even before that concept became public. Inside, they knew. They knew the impact they were having. They accepted the shots that came with it. A rare breed indeed, but foresighted and admirable.

And, at least from my experience, I'd share a comment that may matter to some. The label 'slut' - for all it's seeming negative connotations, is not in reality as negative in it's effects as everyone might think ! It's literally a term assigned out of jealousy and envy and generates far more unspoken respect that most are aware of. I can't think of an actual instance where any was rejected from a job - even an important social engagement, because of their reputation as a 'slut'. Generally it's approached like......."well he/she is a slut BUT.....". And that BUT just acts as the lubricant that lets things flow forward much as they would have minus the label.

So for those strong & enlightened individuals who have chosen this route - I say bless you.
And keep your head high and a smile on your face.

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casual sex, definitions, description, language, sex, sex positive

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