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Old 10-10-2011, 06:50 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
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And yes, seen from your perspective, Veganchick's actions seem cruel. Have you seen her show remorse in other situations when she hurts people? Some people do withdraw and have the biggest issue admitting when they have hurt people, as both you and Carma mentioned earlier - people seeing themselves as who they want to be instead of who they are. Is it really more important to you to make her see you as right, as the injured party, and her as the heartless villain, than to try to figure out how to move past this? There will be plenty of time to figure out why, and for her to deal with any damage she has caused.

Is she just pissed off because and wants to leave the home because you have been talking about this so much? She may be striking out and being angry and bitter back (as you have been off an on in the post you are making on here, and so I imagine you're doing so in person too) in reaction to what you're saying. Maybe because she didn't mean to hurt you on purpose, and you are saying things to purposefully hurt her?

I understand thinking a relationship was perfect and then being so angry that your partner wasn't the person you thought they were, but as you've seen I assume (since you've been in serious relationships before) nobody is perfect, we all have big fucking flaws. Nobody should let themselves be walked on and if you had a pattern of her acting in a way that made you feel "betrayed" that would be one thing but.... this seems to be one surprise that you weren't expecting, and she seems to have been a pretty good partner.

If you can now identify what you think is the possibly dealbreaking "flaw" in veganchick and be willing to love her despite it and use it to get to know her better and help her grow as a person, it will also help you grow as a person, and leave you open to future love from her or other partners. The growing anger you are having is understandable, but you can be better and stronger and rise above it.
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abuse of power, anger, blame, boundaries, dishonesty, forgiveness

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