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  #21  
Old 10-07-2011, 10:24 AM
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Originally Posted by bassman View Post
Thanks Podunk

To put it in poly terms -

I can see a situation where I would be happy a V forming with my wife as the hinge.
I gathered a little of that from what you wrote. Thought it was awesome that you're so excited (literally ) about the whole thing. So many sob stories on here, your dynamic is refreshing.

I also had that dynamic in my own relationship up until now. It was nice to be reminded of it.
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  #22  
Old 10-08-2011, 12:00 AM
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Question though, because there's a world of difference between hot wifery and polyamory... Isn't part of your excitement derived from the fact that this other man is not someone well known to you? A poly relationship would foil that excitement over time. Just something to think about.
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  #23  
Old 10-08-2011, 11:41 AM
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Question though, because there's a world of difference between hot wifery and polyamory... Isn't part of your excitement derived from the fact that this other man is not someone well known to you? A poly relationship would foil that excitement over time. Just something to think about.
Fair enough, but hopefully he and his wife will have time to grow in to things before it gets that far. Maybe they will start out as swingers, many of us did, and grow in to poly. Maybe his wife will like the attention so much that she runs off with the first dude she meets. We have seen it all on here haven't we?
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  #24  
Old 10-08-2011, 12:08 PM
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Thanks Jade and Podunk.

Part of the excitement is that she's even enjoying these compliments. A year ago that would have not entertained receiving compliments like she does now.

nad I am loving it !
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  #25  
Old 10-08-2011, 02:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jade View Post
Question though, because there's a world of difference between hot wifery and polyamory... Isn't part of your excitement derived from the fact that this other man is not someone well known to you? A poly relationship would foil that excitement over time. Just something to think about.
There was someone here for a while who was into hotwifery, and I believe he and his wife had a regular guy for that, whom they had built trust and an understanding with, IIRC. I didn't think it was always supposed to be with strangers.
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  #26  
Old 10-08-2011, 03:26 PM
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There was someone here for a while who was into hotwifery, and I believe he and his wife had a regular guy for that, whom they had built trust and an understanding with, IIRC. I didn't think it was always supposed to be with strangers.
Ha, that's kind of cool. Never really thought of it, but I guess veganchick and I have had at least an electronic version. It's actually a former co-worker of hers. He and his wife have talked about opening up, but I think that is as far as they have gotten. Anyway, they have a little text message thing going and veganchick has sent a few sexy pics. She even texted him one night when we were on our way to a swing club. Blew his mind! He loves the attention, she does too, and I like knowing how much another man wants her.
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  #27  
Old 10-08-2011, 06:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Podunk View Post
Ha, that's kind of cool. Never really thought of it, but I guess veganchick and I have had at least an electronic version. It's actually a former co-worker of hers. He and his wife have talked about opening up, but I think that is as far as they have gotten. Anyway, they have a little text message thing going and veganchick has sent a few sexy pics. She even texted him one night when we were on our way to a swing club. Blew his mind! He loves the attention, she does too, and I like knowing how much another man wants her.
I'd really like my wife to experience that! I'll give it time and gentle encouragement.
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  #28  
Old 10-09-2011, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Jade View Post
Question though, because there's a world of difference between hot wifery and polyamory... Isn't part of your excitement derived from the fact that this other man is not someone well known to you?
This is what I was wondering. Thank you Jade.

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Originally Posted by bassman View Post
I guess I'm confident my wife wont fall in love with someone else, run away with them, and break up our happy home. Maybe if you re-assured him that it was just fun, and that you would enjoy it just for the attention?

We have a little boy 7, that we both love to bits, neither of us would do anything to harm him or cause unhappiness in our home
It sounded to me like this as far as it could go before you would feel like she was destorying your family and marriage. Yes it all has to start some where, but it was sounding like that was the place you wanted to be at and no more.

Perhaps you are unawares of the turmoil that is casued when another person becomes a fixture in an established marriage? It is unhappy sometimes for those witnessing and pulling up the slack in a relationship. It is possible that those involved "run away" for a time. NRE is powerful and potentially destructive.

If your wife falls for another man it will likely be very difficult for you and your child. Adjustment time takes place for up to and over a year. All I ask is that you are aware of this and what could happen. Don't be under the illusion that you will be jacking off to thoughts of her with another man. Sure, you could be, but its unlikely to be as gleeful. I would suggest enjoying today and remembering to keeping a clear head, talking about what ifs, educating your through reading up on other experiences and your eye on the bigger picture. I would hate that glee to turn sour the moment she looks at you vacantly after a weekend of fucking because you thought it was all going to be sexy masturbation time for you.

Bah! You never asked for advice, just for people to share in your glee. I am leaving this here regardless but please know I am happy for you that you found some enjoyment for yourself in her flirtations.
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Last edited by redpepper; 10-09-2011 at 06:43 AM.
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  #29  
Old 10-09-2011, 06:57 AM
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Ah Redpepper, you speak very wise words, and I think you for your input, and I have thought about most of those things, but I am new here, new to this idea, and so, yes I need advice, guidance, and I'm grateful for all that on here.

Ive read loads of your posts on this forum, so I take your thoughts on this as very valuable indeed.
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  #30  
Old 10-28-2011, 05:08 AM
bassman bassman is offline
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Well, last night my wife said to me that she had a dream about a guy.

This is a guy at work, and in the dream he was approaching her to (in her words) "be his mistress"

I was too dog tired, and nearly asleep when she told me, so I didnt pursue the topic, but I will ask her about every little detail tonight!!

I think this is a small breakthrough away from her normally conservative, traditionalist thinking, and I hope to hear all about the dream tonight!
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