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  #241  
Old 10-07-2011, 10:45 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LT4everu2 View Post
I know I am not on here much, but I have to stand up here and say my peace.
Magdlyn we have a rule on this type of activity, he crossed it. SO I guess it is ok to break rules in your book, well it is not in mine.
My goodness, all I said was, I didn't understand! I feel hurt you'd say I am in favor of breaking agreed upon rules! As Cindie said, there was nothing in TL's post that indicated there was a rule around crotch grabbing. I don't know what this rule for? After all, I know he'd had sex with her before, and his penis had been in her vagina, so why not his hand?

What is the rule? No sexual or affectionate touching unless you're actually naked in bed together? Didn't you once hump a guy in the ocean?

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Also it is alot more then the sex, it was the whole not talking. And wanting to talk to some stranger and ignore us (leaving us in the room) the ones they were out with.
Yeah, you and TL were understandably upset, but I just have a thing about screaming fuck you as a way to get feelings across.

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Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
Because it is one of our rule things. When a person gets scolded in front of their friends or playmates, it is embarrassing. So, I was reclusive because of embarrassment and anger.
OK. I do think that Tabi and Boogie acted weirdly much of the night, and that's on them. But maybe your sulky behavior added to the mess?

Quote:
Oh, Boogie was in the mood for sex, just not with Kandy. Which was frustrating, because he was portraying that he WAS in the mood for sex with Kandy.
Yes, all that happy flirting when you were playing pool... But he must have felt conflicted for one reason or another...

Quote:
And the yelling was between Kandy and Tabi-cat the next morning. Both of them were frustrated. Tabi-cat (I think) was frustrated with Boogie for generally being an ass and getting so high that he couldn't perform. And Kandy was frustrated with Tabi-cat AND Boogie, for both being secretive and taking off and hiding out to talk to a new conquest down by the pool, rather than spending the time they had allotted to us.
Perhaps Tabi and Boogie were hurt, confused or embarrassed by the crotch grabbing and the scolding and your subsequent anger and sulky un-flirty behavior as well?

Like me, they didn't know you and Kandy have some kind of rule about crotch grabbing in a car. I'm just trying to understand.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
my bf: Ginger, 61, married to:
Robin, 60 (mono)
and dating (NRE): Carla and David, married couple, early 40s
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  #242  
Old 10-07-2011, 11:48 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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I think everyone here forgot....or missed....this part of my post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post

While in the car, I commit a foul by putting my hand in Tabi-cat's crotch. Only a foul between Kandy and myself, Tabi-cat was ok with it.

Kandy gets upset with me and lets me know.

I become reclusive.
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  #243  
Old 10-07-2011, 11:53 PM
Jade Jade is offline
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I suspect everyone agrees that this wasn't a good match for you guys. Too ready to pack up and move, too smoked up to perform, too much going on under the surface...

I think the previous poster made a thought provoking point though. "Perhaps Tabi and Boogie were hurt, confused or embarrassed by the crotch grabbing and the scolding and your subsequent anger and sulky un-flirty behavior as well?"

Sometimes what you don't say speaks louder than what you do. When we're with another couple and I see changes in behavior, attitude, etc., it sends off little warning signals. You may have been unwittingly throwing out your own red flag.

We saw lots of these sort of red flags with our OSOs in the first couple of years. He would do something that irritated her and withdraw in some way or vice versa. It was kind of maddening, because it wasn't personal... it took a while to realize it wasn't personal.. but in that sorting out period, when they were discovering their own and each other's boundaries, there were times when I would just want to scream, "Why am I here? Can't you guys get your act together?"

Again, just food for thought. Nothing but love for ya' and all that I think we all want each other to find happiness, so don't be alarmed if you get what you may feel is "negative" criticism. If something is pointed out, there's usually a genuine desire to help behind it.
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  #244  
Old 10-08-2011, 01:29 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Jade...Don't love me. LOL I am not a good person. I'm a TOTAL perv...and I would TOTALLY take it the wrong way. Plus, I'm married....which apparently, means that I am no longer human or I'm dead and not allowed to look at other women.

At least to most of the women I talk to in my area anyway. Not my wife, of course. LOL


Did I portray my sarcasm well enough? I hope so.

Thanks for your input though.
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  #245  
Old 10-08-2011, 02:13 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
I think everyone here forgot....or missed....this part of my post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
While in the car, I commit a foul by putting my hand in Tabi-cat's crotch. Only a foul between Kandy and myself, Tabi-cat was ok with it.

Kandy gets upset with me and lets me know.

I become reclusive.
No, dear, we didn't miss it or forget it. I think it confused us because you said she got upset about it BUT we didn't know WHY.

You didn't say it was a rule, and I'm sure most of us are still unclear what that rule is. No touching without asking for permission first or something like that? What is the rule, if you don't mind telling us?

I think most of us know you and Kandy are pretty experienced with getting it on with other couples, and since it was obvious that you all had planned on all getting together to have sex, we were just trying to figure out why she got mad. It didn't make sense because the picture was incomplete, that's all. I'm sure Mags and I were not the only ones who wondered, "Wait a minute, they were going to a hotel together, planning to get laid, so why couldn't he touch her crotch?" We were only trying to understand why everyone was so upset.
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Last edited by nycindie; 10-08-2011 at 02:17 AM.
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  #246  
Old 10-08-2011, 05:16 AM
Jade Jade is offline
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Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
... Plus, I'm married....which apparently, means that I am no longer human or I'm dead and not allowed to look at other women...
I had to laugh when I read this. Have you ever seen the ventriloquist Jeff Dunham? With his puppet "Walter" he does a skit in which Walter bitches about the confines of marriage... "Married 15 years, huh? See that gorgeous young lady there? See that beautiful woman? Yeah? Oh well. All you can do is run to the end of your chain and bark!"
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  #247  
Old 10-08-2011, 05:34 AM
bassman bassman is offline
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Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I'm sure Mags and I were not the only ones who wondered, "Wait a minute, they were going to a hotel together, planning to get laid, so why couldn't he touch her crotch?" We were only trying to understand why everyone was so upset.
Cindi and Mags - Yes, that is very confusing! It seems to me you're allowed to do anything you like with the other couple except touch their crotch?
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  #248  
Old 10-08-2011, 10:40 AM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
I think everyone here forgot....or missed....this part of my post:
Actually I addressed it in my long post just above yours.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 58, living with:
miss pixi, 37, who is dating (NRE):
Master, 32
my bf: Ginger, 61, married to:
Robin, 60 (mono)
and dating (NRE): Carla and David, married couple, early 40s
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  #249  
Old 10-09-2011, 12:46 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Real quick......


The foul which was committed, was ME....I put my hand in Tabi-cat's crotch. The issue was not that in and of it's self. The problem, was that I had done it in the back seat where Kandy and Boogie couldn't see. It was also while in the back seat of the car....while we were going down the road. Kinda public, yet hidden from Kandy and Boogie's eyes. So to Kandy, it felt like I was trying to hide this. Trying to hide ANYTHING is a foul in our eyes.

When I got confronted about it, I was embarrassed, and clammed up making me look even MORE guilty, further madening Kandy. It was a vicious cycle.


So there you have it. None of it is an issue anymore anyway, as the relationship with Boogie and Tabi-cat is not salvageable. So, we are moving on to higher plateaus.
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  #250  
Old 10-09-2011, 12:47 AM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jade View Post
I had to laugh when I read this. Have you ever seen the ventriloquist Jeff Dunham? With his puppet "Walter" he does a skit in which Walter bitches about the confines of marriage... "Married 15 years, huh? See that gorgeous young lady there? See that beautiful woman? Yeah? Oh well. All you can do is run to the end of your chain and bark!"
LOL Yeah, Jeff Dunham is HILARIOUS!
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