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Old 10-02-2011, 10:06 AM
sadibird's Avatar
sadibird sadibird is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: California
Posts: 7
Default Bisexual, feeling monogamous and thoroughly confused

I was wondering if anyone else has felt the way I'm feeling.

I'm bisexual but have only ever been in relationships with men (I'm a woman), and have been feeling for a while that I really need to explore being with a woman to know who I am. Also, the fact that a hot woman can turn me into a stuttering blob of jelly makes me very curious and interested.

My man and I have been together for 3.5 years now and living together most of that time, and we're very serious about our relationship. We plan to get married as soon as we're out of school.

He's been very supportive of my feelings about needing to be with a woman (at first he was more appreciating the idea from a "girl on girl is hot" perspective, but that's changed). He isn't particularly inclined to be monogamous, and he has had sex with a couple of people while we've been together - we talked about it first and I gave him the go-ahead. He's what I call a recovering catholic, so it's been difficult for him to accept his feelings about sex. I was raised with more of a hippie mentality and so it's not weird or strange for me.

Now you might think, why don't I just go date a woman? I'm feeling like I can't really be sexual with someone I don't love, and that I can't love someone without ignoring everyone else. I know from experience - from being intensely attracted to several of our friends (one female, one male) - that that attraction makes me ignore my current relationship.

I guess what I'm asking is this: does NRE usually cause tunnel vision, is that usually harmful to an existing partner, or am I just hardwired to be monogamous?

I'm sure there's a better way to put all this (and I would have probably said it better if I weren't so tired).
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