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Old 09-22-2011, 04:50 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 497
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I think basic needs like being loved for yourself, being respected, etc. are definitely more universal. But hubs and I are very much the example of "opposites attracting". Part of what works for us is that we complement each other's personality so much.

An example is that he's very extroverted, and I'm mostly introverted. But he can definitely bring out my extroverted side.

He also can be impulsive and unfocused, and I tend to think things through more and get things done. I think I have helped him to focus on things he wants and help him stay a bit grounded, while he has opened me up to sometimes just doing things without thinking them to DEATH.

One thing I am realizing is that like it or not, if I want to do things with him or get time, or whatever -- that I need to figure it out and plan it. Not that I don't like doing that SOMETIMES, but somewhere I had this ridiculous feeling that because he wasn't initiating things, that it meant he wasn't interested as much anymore. Which I know is not true. He's just more of a procrastinator, and not much of a planner-- that's my arena.

Once I realized i was being dumb in trying to "wait until he initiates something with me" I lost that ridiculous resentment that was building. We can do things, we can have that time, I just need to make it happen.
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anxiety, coping, marriage

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