Lost, nauseous, jealous
I am just at a total loss. Here is my situation. I am in the middle of a divorce, and I met an amazing, beautiful, kinky, smart, wonderful woman. She told me that she was polyamorous when we met and I was accepting of that, as we were both looking for more of a "friends with benefits" type arrangement. Shortly after we met she met another man. At first, I was okay with this, a little out of my comfort zone, but okay. A few months later, we have both fallen completely in love with one another. She even told me that she doesn't want or need anyone other than me (for the first time in her life). That being said, she continues to see this other man. Every minute I'm away from her I physically ache (she says she feels the same). Every minute that she is with this other man, I feel a combination of pain and nausea -- I feel like I'm dying on the inside.
When she first mentioned polyamory to me I investigated the matter and was very interested in exploring the concept. While I'm still on board in principal, I am struggling with the practice. To compound the problem, she has told me that she is feeling quite a bit of jealousy at the mere thought of me being with another woman. On top of that, she says that she cares for this other man (which I can appreciate, as I've met him, and he seems like a good guy), and that she just can't bring herself to break things off with him.
I have read so many articles on jealousy -- from both the polyamory perspective and the monogamous perspective -- and nothing quite seems to fit what I am going through. I understand that I have my own insecurities, issues, and hang ups, but I don't know if this is all based on my emotional shortcomings.
Is there anyone else who has gone through this type of situation that could provide a little insight beyond what xeromag.com and the like can offer?