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Old 09-11-2011, 10:28 PM
polycouple polycouple is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: CT/RI area
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JuliaGay View Post
I'm sorry that you are struggling. Hopefully you'll find some help here.

I have been a secondary many times in my life and have not experienced what you are currently experiencing. I don't think the issue is the end of NRE, but a change of circumstances.

You haven't given us much information, so I'm not sure how to help you. Is your relationship with one or both of them? Are you a triad? Do you have individual relationships with both of them? Are they perhaps struggling with something else that is taking their attention right now?

Please give us more info. Thanks.

JG
Thanks Julia!

We are in a triad, and I am involved with both of them. I have been advocating for us to all have individual couple time, but that has not gone over well. Its probably the most contentious issues in our relationship. I am in counseling right now trying to decide how to deal with the situations, trying to decide whether I can stay in the relationship if the bundaries don;t change. I can have individual social time and sexy time with the female in the relationship, Sarah, but she is not comfortable with me having individual time with Tom. She did support us spending time together when she had to work, but we were respectful of her boundaries to not be intimate while she was not there (save a few times early on when we broke those boundaries). Now that she does not work, I do not have individual time with either of them, and it is driving me a little nuts...
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anxiety, boundaries, children, children and polyamory, co-dependence, co-dependency, communication, compromise, coupledom, dependancy, divorce, excuses, expectations, feeling ignored, foundations, introduction, justifications, lessons, limerence, long distance, mono / poly, mono/poly, new relationship energy, new to polamory, new to polyamory, nre, nre overflow, nre timescale, responsibilities, romantacies, secondaries, secondary, secondary feelings, separation anxiety, vee

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