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Old 09-10-2011, 10:39 AM
Tinyblu Tinyblu is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 66
Default Should I Say Something?

So I entered my first polyamory (what I refer to as honest) relationship at the end of April, and besides a few bumps in the road, it has been relatively fulfilling and I have been pretty happy.

...until recently. The one thing I had always found refreshing about the relationship was the honesty and the consistency. My guy had been more consistent than any "monogamous" relationship I had been in meaning he called when he said he would or would let me know he would be otherwise occupied (with other women) and would get back to me soon. It's a long distance relationship, so that has worked well for me. Besides, my job keeps me relatively busy so it had always been a win-win situation

Well, it's quite obvious to me that he has a "new toy" (it's also clear to another woman that we've both been in a relationship with) as he has started to behave like the so-called monogamous guy who mysteriously stops calling because he's otherwise occupied.

His calls have gone from a quick, obligatory "how ya doin'" to practically non-existent. Where we used to talk at least two or three times a week on the phone and see each other bi-weekly, I'm lucky to get even a text message.

It's starting to concern me (I'm starting to think I was a summertime fling), but I haven't said anything about it. I really don't know the rules when it comes to this type of thing. Is this normal? Will I look clingy and needy if I ask him what's going on (he's always liked how "laid back" I am... I don't want to appear any less laid back).

The thing is, I don't necessarily mind if he has someone new or is rekindling an old flame (he seems to keep a few women on some sort of rotation), and I don't want all the details of what or who he's doing. I guess I just need some type of explanation of why there's been a change in communication and assurance that he's not abandoning me (my worst fear). It's the NOT knowing that's causing doubt.

So, should I bring it up at all, and if I do, how do I address this without appearing needy and emotional?
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