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  #11  
Old 08-20-2011, 05:43 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Originally Posted by Hypsie View Post
I had originally spent about 30 minutes typing out the whole situation, but my computer spazzed out and erased it all
Whenever you login, if you select "Remember Me" it keeps you logged in. Do that and you won't get timed out while writing long posts.

Also, paragraph breaks would be so helpful!
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  #12  
Old 08-20-2011, 05:55 AM
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. . . I've asked about being intimate with both if them separately, and they said "not yet". I can cuddle and kiss and be touchy-feely with him, but nothing more . . . she's apparently nervous about being physical with me since she's never had sex with a woman before. I try to be equally physical with them both but it's hard because she doesn't really respond or reciprocate when I touch or kiss her.
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Originally Posted by Hypsie View Post
. . . we discussed the possibility of us being intimate but she didn't feel right about it without her guy being involved . . .

She had come to the conclusion that she was jealous of the two of us being intimate without her, not just jealous that her friend was intimate with her boyfriend.

. . .They had considered a couple of other girls and one guy before me over the years, but for one reason or another, they didn't work out.
Ugh. What a pair of control freaks! It seems she's involving herself with you, though she doesn't really want to, just to keep her eye on on him. This is not a situation I would find appealing. It doesn't seem to me that you would ever be considered an equal partner with them, so I fail to see what benefit you would get out of this situation.
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  #13  
Old 08-20-2011, 12:40 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
. . . I've asked about being intimate with both if them separately, and they said "not yet". I can cuddle and kiss and be touchy-feely with him, but nothing more . . . she's apparently nervous about being physical with me since she's never had sex with a woman before. I try to be equally physical with them both but it's hard because she doesn't really respond or reciprocate when I touch or kiss her.
So, I can't really imagine what 3way "sex" is for you 3. You aren't allowed to fuck him. She doesn't want to fuck you. What's in it for you? Watching them fuck? Huh? Or does "touchy feely" mean you can give him a handjob and nothing else? You don't get to be touched and actually have sexual pleasure at all, much less orgasms?

You stated she is bisexual, but also that she won't have sex with you. You also said they are both doms. So maybe there is kink stuff going on, power exchange, impact play, bondage, whatever, but no actual sex? Both of them domming you in a BDSM sense, and then fucking each other while you watch, tied up and "helpless?"

Just so you know, I am kinky myself and OK with power exchange. I am just wondering how you 3 can be considered bf and gfs without you actually having sex with either of them...
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  #14  
Old 08-20-2011, 09:34 PM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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"They're being very patient and understanding with me about the insecurities I've expressed since this is their first real follow-through of anything with a third."

I assume they also have insecurities (obviously) you're being patient and understand to them too right? The difference is you feel more vulnerable because you have to go to people in the established relationships to talk about your feelings, they have each other to talk to, and are probably talking to each other but not you as much as they should. Just don't want you to think you're being the insecure needy one, I have seen a lot of 3rds feel that they are needy, or be called needy because they are the ones who have to start any conversation that hits the hard topics since they aren't always included in all the ones the couples are having in private so don't have a clue where the other two parties stand.

For a triad to work (OK, I haven't ever been in one, but I read a lot!) all three of you are going to have to communicate with each other, and it does sound like there is a hell of a lot of communicating that's going to happen before you settle in to a comfortable zone, what you expect in a triad, what you are and aren't willing to give.

I also don't know that I'd say now you're their girlfriend. Have you considered dating other people, or being open to it until you are able to have either a sexual relationship with her, or a fully sexual relationship with either of them solo (sorry if I missed this, haven't had my coffee yet)? Have you told them if you want to be able to have one on one sex? If so are they working towards that goal or hedging about how they feel about that?

Good luck! I am glad you have a good friendship with her, I hope that makes it easier to keep making yourself vulnerable and speaking up about what is on your mind.
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Last edited by Anneintherain; 08-20-2011 at 09:37 PM.
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  #15  
Old 09-09-2011, 05:07 AM
Hypsie Hypsie is offline
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Default We broke it off....

After an insane emotional roller coaster, we ended up agreeing to just go back to being friends.. Turns out I can't handle being a secondary and she couldn't handle me being a primary. Or at least she didn't think she could..that was really never given a chance since the rules never changed before things ended.

On the upside, our friendship is back to he way it was and we're all on good terms. I also moved to a different state, so I get a fresh start. Yay!
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  #16  
Old 09-09-2011, 06:38 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Glad to see that you're feeling so positive about it! Now you now, going forward, not to sell yourself short again for a situation that subjugates you and is less than satisfying. Good luck!
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