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  #1091  
Old 09-02-2011, 04:21 PM
marksbabygirl marksbabygirl is offline
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Its been so hard to get here lately!
That's good! It means life is full and busy
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  #1092  
Old 09-03-2011, 05:09 AM
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Okay, bit of an update.

I'm sitting by the fire on the last day of camping before summer ends. Tomorrow Leo and his family arrive and just as summer started, so it ends, with camping and our two families. The sex I could of had is not worth the satisfaction of knowing that this routine is likely going to continue. it makes me feel very happy that I made that choice for now and I am not in the least bit regretful. I have enough.

I have been chatting with Leo's wife a bit lately. She agreed to look after our family (okay, my) guinea pig when we went to poly camp this month and I got a chance to hang with her and our kids a bit as a result. She is much like me. No big surprise there really . In all the good ways of course . The only big difference is she doesn't do much. I realized just how important these camping trips are to her and the family as they really only spent time out side of there family twice this summer. A swingers party and hanging with us. That's it. I have been glad to gain some one on one trust as a result of spending time bonding over a guinea pig.

There were two poly camps this summer that I was part of. One I didn't actually stay at as I was saving for the latter and something told me it might not be a good idea. As it turned out my gut was right. Instead I spend time helping others debrief after as it turned out to be more of a nudy sexy camp than the all inclusive camp it was advertised as. It has meant that next year in our area there will be two camps; poly family camp and an adult camp. I guess on top of the friends camp I organize for friends and non-mono people to hang out at.

I decided to be on the committee for the family camp. Well, I was asked and agreed. I'm looking forward to finding interesting ways to make sure child an adult alike have a good time.

Poly camp in Washington state was awesome! I met some really great people and got to see how a camp can incorporate all needs and interests under the poly umbrella. I loved that I could escape family responsibility and do workshops on burlesque and safer sex! All away from the main camp yet still feeling as if there was a connection. We will definitely be there again next year! Next time I offered to do a workshop.

So when we got home we were given the pleasure of Mono's apartment flooded. A whole weekend of a hot water tank leaking. What a mess! At first Mono decided he would handle it all himself. It became clear pretty fast that it was a bigger issue than he first though.

Just before he moved in last year the other heater flooded (we have two, one for the apartment and the other for PN and my half of the house). We spent and evening mopping it up with towels and then spin drying them in the washer. The hand bissel I bouught ti clean furnature when LB was a baby meant we could suck up the water. Water wrecked some of the floor but after we dried it it seemed okay, so we left it. This time it spread throughout and we had to have the insurance company come in and rip it all out; floor, doors, kitchen cabinets, bathroom cabinets. We had no idea that by leaving it last time mold had grown underneath the floor! It all had to go.

Now Mono lives on the couch in our part of the house. He will likely be there for awhile. Arranging for him to have time to himself and for PN to have time to himself has been an effort. I have had none. I don't have a bedroom either as its blocked off just as Mono's is. I MISS IT! We are managing but its tight quarters. It could of been so much worse, but we make do. More bonding. Nothing like bonding over tragedy. I might have to escape to the van again
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Last edited by redpepper; 09-03-2011 at 05:37 PM.
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  #1093  
Old 09-03-2011, 06:22 AM
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Oh the mold! My sympathies.

I remember when my brother's place sprung a leak, they had to live in their condo, in the middle of summer with all the heaters and super fans blowing hot air trying to dry everything out. It took a week before the heaters were turned off. They basically locked themselves in the bedroom (which had a window and no damaged floor).
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  #1094  
Old 09-03-2011, 05:27 PM
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Ran out of steam last night. Here I am again.

I'm sitting here wrapped in the scarf Derby made me by the fire this morning. Mmm. Cozy. the bailey's in my coffee is helping. Some things are a tradition while camping. Bailey's in morning coffee and a competition to make the best marshmallow; brown, puffy and melted right through. Or making as many layers come off the marshmallow as we can. Cheap beer is the other thing, although having just been to Washington state from British Columbia, nothing here is cheap!

We had a great pub night this week. There has been a bit of unrest in the community over the camp this summer and I feared it would continue to events there in. If it did I didn't notice. There seems to be more of an agreement to go about doing our thing and leaving others to do their thing. We are such a diverse community, I'm glad that there is a bit of letting go in terms of management of events. We had a growing pain this summer and I think we are coming out of it with better understanding, more acceptance and a better appreciation. Communication, giving space and letting things go seems to of helped. I'm thankful that people were willing to engage in that process.

I've enjoyed more family time with Derby and our family. I absolutely adore her kiddies. They are such characters! I love how their minds work and what they come up with. As they grow older I am noticing that they are a bit more compatible with LB, my boy. LB is an only child and used to an adult world and communication. Not to mention a little over a year older. He doesn't understand, nor want to, what its like to have a sibling or what its like to "run in a pack" like other kids. He is also got his little quirks that make him LB and one of them is that he prefers to observe.

At poly camp LB sat and watched the other kids. Many knew each other and were actively involved in their dynamic they were already part of. At one point we had a long conversation about the kids there and that they were similar to him in terms of the families they were growing up with. I am hoping that he will feel a sense of communty amongst his peers.

One "child" who was in her early 20's had been to camp for years and had grown up in the poly community. She knew nothing different and had a lot of information for us parents wondering how to make their kids life better. I asked if next year she would do a workshop so that parents could ask questions and could hear about her experiences. I found it interesting that her number one recomendation was to not hide relationships from kids; honesty and openness is key to normalizing for kids she had experienced.

So what's up for fall? Well, a family poly bbq coming up, singing a solo in my choir a couple of times, three burlesque events (one I am adding a BDSM theme), the women's group is meeting every month again, and mushroom season!

Not sure what to do about Halloween... Someone is hosting a poly/swinger/sex positive event but I don't know if we will be invited and I don't know if we will go. I'm wondering if I would end up going alone or do something else. I'm letting it unfold at the moment. I'm hoping to gain more clarity on what the event is before deciding if I would accept an invite. Last year we went (not Mono, he didn't like the idea of it) to a swinger event that my friend put on, but this year its not working out for her to do another.

Swinger events are different than poly sex positive events any way it seems. They seem to be far more couple centric. Swingers aren't big on singles coming to events, especially men, and poly sex events are mostly about single poly's in terms of approach. Single meaning the reverse of poly fi. Attached but not closed. I would imagine it would create a different atmosphere. I bet there are still creepy advances that are inappropriate, yet a sense of community that doesn't necessarily occur with swinger events other than people who attend regularly and who are like minded in that they like sport sex. I dunno, just talking at this point. I know nothing really. I fully admit that.

Wow, from family to sex. Nice!

Back to edit my post I wrote last night as I never got to it.
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  #1095  
Old 09-03-2011, 06:08 PM
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LB will get the benefit of sisters, without having to live with them 24/7, much better arrangement sometimes. He will probably turn out to be their most avid protector.
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  #1096  
Old 09-04-2011, 11:16 AM
bella123456 bella123456 is offline
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I also have one child...and he is very used to communicating on a very adult level. He is very emotionally mature for his age as a result of being an only child. He turned 11 yesterday.
And during the past weeks, I have been conversing with him about my love coming to stay with us, and that at some point in time that may actually mean he may need to share his bedroom with my love's son.

I asked my son how he may feel about sharing his space and room.

"Well, it's not my ideal mum...but of course I will work it out, I can see this is important and special"

And it reminds me to never underestimate children.

I once asked my son "who is you best friend?" He listed 3 children...and followed it up with "Best does not mean one mum...they are all best"

Children have special powers !
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  #1097  
Old 09-07-2011, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Now Mono lives on the couch in our part of the house. He will likely be there for awhile.
Thanks for helping me out Lilo You guys are doing more than anyone could expect to take care of the "tenant"

I love you
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  #1098  
Old 09-07-2011, 09:36 PM
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I have offered Mono my room for this time. Its going to be a long while before he has a life in his apartment again. Things are moving REALLY slowly. We had a date night last night but its not the same with PN and LB being in the same house! We went to a movie but we need alone time! Bah! Its going to drive us crazy pretty soon. All of us. So far we are getting along great, but I would rather make a move before we don't get along. Time to change it up again.
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  #1099  
Old 09-08-2011, 12:41 AM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I have offered Mono my room for this time. Its going to be a long while before he has a life in his apartment again. Things are moving REALLY slowly. We had a date night last night but its not the same with PN and LB being in the same house! We went to a movie but we need alone time! Bah! Its going to drive us crazy pretty soon. All of us. So far we are getting along great, but I would rather make a move before we don't get along. Time to change it up again.
Yes, we have had to master the art of very quiet sex. As well, just up and leaving when one couple or the other wants alone time (not necessarily sexual) and being comfortable taking that. We also all have a policy of asking for our personal alone time when needed, like if we want the house to our own self. We don't need that option too often, but it's nice to know we're not offending anyone by asking the other two to bugger off for a bit.

It's been interesting ... The two bedrooms have now become "Mr. A's room" and "Indi- I mean the other room". Even Indigo has said "his" room a couple of times.

If you want to chat, feel free to PM. I know you've been doing this a lot longer, but we've got much closer quarters than you had!

*hug*
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  #1100  
Old 09-08-2011, 12:54 AM
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Yes, we have had to master the art of very quiet sex.
How? How? I need to know how to be quiet! That is something I could never do. I don't know why, but I just can't be quiet. In fact, I have had neighbors complain to the super and my landlord about the noise coming from my apartment -- once when I was married (I bought that neighbor earplugs and left it in front of his door, the bastard!), and once recently. Oy, it was really embarrassing to find a very polite note from my super asking me to be quiet. What could I do? Once, in my early twenties, my sister was at college and talking to a classmate, and it turns out he knew an old boyfriend of mine. The guy said to her, "Oh, your sister is The Screamer!!!???" She was mortified. Lively sometimes hands me a pillow to put my face into, he's so afraid someone's going to complain.
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