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  #11  
Old 05-10-2009, 12:33 AM
Quath Quath is offline
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Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
Just came out to my parents! My mother's day gift to her...Finally when they ask what I am doing I talk about Redpepper and her family!! Whew..as a sidenote my parents live 4000 miles away so it's easier for me..they won't be knocking on my door HAHA! I love you Redpepper...I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of us ...unless it's bad...yuk!...just kidding Sunshine.
How did your parents take it?

When I was in the FMF triad, I told my parents. But they just pretended that it was a phase or I was sowing my wild oats. I think they pretended it was not happening for the most part.
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  #12  
Old 05-10-2009, 01:45 AM
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River River is offline
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I'm new to the practice of polyamory--, in some respects, anyway. But I've had -- and my love of twelve years has had -- a polyamorous spirit for the duration of our relationship.

I'm getting to a place where I don't hide or withhold much. That feels good. I'm pretty "out" as a bi-queer guy. I can't see why I shouldn't be equally as out as poly. But I don't announce myself as such -- bi, poly -- (either) indiscriminantly and everywhere. Why would I? But if it comes up, I say so. Generally.

My partner, Kevin, and I have explored relationships with others, but none lasting so far--though we've been open to that possibility. We're both intimately involved again with someone we had a sort of fling with a long time ago. It was more sexual than intimate-in-a-whole-way then. It's getting more intimate in a whole way this time. His name is David. We had a good afternoon together, the tree of us, today. But we've decided not to be sexual with David for now, perhaps for a while, while we explore and expand our friendship with him -- which includes warm touch, kisses, handholding....

Last edited by River; 05-10-2009 at 01:59 AM.
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  #13  
Old 05-10-2009, 09:42 PM
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WaywardDruid WaywardDruid is offline
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Smile Out . . .



Stormsinger (Trisha) my wife of over 30 years and I have been "out" to family and friends before there was even the term Polyamory. Back then we were considered what I guess you'd term an open marriage/swingers. But now a days all who really know us including family know that we don't live a monogamous life style. Even though it's been a few years since I've had any significant other relationship Storm still has several lovers and friends. We don't entertain much at home any more as my 84 year old mother is with us and we care for her in her declining years on this circle.

I guess you can say we've been around the block several times and so far the trip has been interesting to say the least.

Just Me,
Tim
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  #14  
Old 05-13-2009, 11:11 AM
Penny29 Penny29 is offline
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I don't feel the need to tell others about my private life. Only a few friends know about it and I asked them to keep it as secret as possible. My friends have no problems with it and that's the most important thing.
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  #15  
Old 05-13-2009, 04:45 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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We used to be out to only friends until our first gf passed away. Then my mom found out because I obviously couldn't hide my grief. When my mom found out, we didn't speak for 3mos.

Until my 18 (at the time) year old sister said to my mother that what my wife and I did in our life was our business. She also told my mother that she was going to have a relationship with me and my wife(s) regardless. (Still tear up when I think about that) After that my mom didn't understand, and still doesn't, but she wanted a relationship with her son more than not. She just asked that I tell her ahead of time so that it wasn't a surprise.

Since then, my entire family (with the exception of my 88 year old Puertorican, REAL TRADITIONAL grandmother...LOL) knows about our lifestyle. When we get invites, it's addressed to all three of us. I have to admit, we were very lucky that everyone took it well. But, it also helped to have an I don't give a f*ck attitude. They realized that we're going to do what we want no matter what. (I think I got that back when I was 16 and realized that I preferred bigger women and wasn't going to let what my friends say stop me from being with women that I preferred!!)
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  #16  
Old 05-14-2009, 12:42 PM
Penny29 Penny29 is offline
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Danny, you're actually a lucky guy. Not many people have parents and family that understand and accept this kind of lifestyle. I can imagine that it was hard for your mom to get used to it. It was definitely difficult for her to invite you three to family events. I hope you really appreciate her understanding.
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  #17  
Old 05-14-2009, 04:35 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Penny29 View Post
Danny, you're actually a lucky guy. Not many people have parents and family that understand and accept this kind of lifestyle. I can imagine that it was hard for your mom to get used to it. It was definitely difficult for her to invite you three to family events. I hope you really appreciate her understanding.
Penny, I'm EXTREMELY lucky!! However let me clarify. My mother still doesn't understand it, she accepts it. (We had this very conversation two weeks ago during Mother-Son bonding day...lol) I do appreciate that she accepts our lifestyle and includes our gf. With time she's gotten much better about it as has the family so I've definately lucked out.

Thanks! :-D
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  #18  
Old 05-17-2009, 04:12 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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How did your parents take it?
Sorry for the late reply, my friend.

My Dad just wants me to be happy but chalks it up to an experimental stage LOL! I came out of a sixteen-year marriage in August so he probably thinks I am running wild.

My mother is just concerned about my daughter because she thinks anyone new in my life will prevent her from seeing her granddaughter. My daughter is almost sixteen and lives with her mom. The choice is theirs to stay in touch. Otherwise everything is good.

It is nice being able to talk about Redpeppper and what we do as a couple and group. Redpepper deserves to be acknowledged. But again..my parent s are 4000 miles away!

They really don't have to understand it to see how happy I am. I beam when I see Redpepper and they can hear it in my voice when I talk about her and what we are buliding
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  #19  
Old 05-18-2009, 12:10 AM
Quath Quath is offline
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Good that sounds like an overall positive encounter. I am happy for your happiness.
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  #20  
Old 05-18-2009, 10:25 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Wow this feels good!

I just got back from camping with Redpepper and her family as well as another Poly couple and their children. It was great to call my parents and be completely honest about what I did on this wonderful long weekend. I like knowing that they can hear the happiness in my voice. I think simply hearing me this way relieves some of thier concerns. They are very non-judgemental and want me to be happy so, although I won't even pretend they understand my relationship, they do accept it.

As a sidenote..the weekend was great and completely natural! I made new friends and had a nice talk with Redpepper about our individual ideas of what the future holds and what we both want. All three of us have a very positive and exciting expectation for the future. One that involves us always together, sharing and communicating.

Her husband and me are becoming closer and closer which is solidifying my sense of being a positive in thier lives. I am extremely fortunate

Last edited by MonoVCPHG; 05-18-2009 at 10:43 PM.
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