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Old 10-26-2009, 12:13 PM
RavenAmethyst RavenAmethyst is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 3
Default Some advise needed, please....

I find myself in a very sticky situation, and need some guidance. My husband and I are in an open marriage. He is polyamorous, whereas I am more into just having another lover for physical reasons (my hubby is not into some of the fettishes I have).

The problem I"m having is that the woman that my hubby loves is someone I don't trust. There have been multiple issues throughout their relationship. She has done some rather hurtful things to my hubby and to me, and although she has apologized, I still don't feel I can trust her. I honestly have never had a good relationship with her...and the issues that came up just made matters worse. She is currently on the "no" list, but my hubby is pushing hard for me to talk with her and get things straightened out. There are very strong reasons for me to believe that it is not a good idea for them to be together. She is very very codependant, and when they were seeing eachother before, the relationship was a huge drain on our marriage because she was so needy, and hubby wanted to make her happy.

He has realized that he took too much away from us trying to make her happy, but she is unfortunatley the kind of woman who is just never happy. I fear that his love for her will have him fall into that "black hole" again..like it did before. But, I also realize that hubby loves her, and he is very hurt by not being able to see her...and that was my decision. So I feel like I'm stuck choosing between what I feel is best for me and my marriage, and his desire to be with her, despite the issues.

Suggestions? Thoughts?
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