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Old 09-02-2011, 05:35 AM
JuliaGay's Avatar
JuliaGay JuliaGay is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Tacoma/Tucson (long story)
Posts: 75
Default Five Love Lanaguages

nycindie's posting of "Everyday Commitments To Loving Kindness" inspired me to start a thread about the Five Love Languages. (I did a search and didn't find it, so if this is a repeat, I apologize.) It's also not specifically poly (in fact, the creator is an Evangelical Christian and the website is heavily focused on monogamous relationships), but it has a lot of value. A poly-friendly therapist friend of mine suggested it to me. It's a tool that's been very helpful to me and my partners.


The idea is that we all have a predominant love language from one of the five (Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts). This is the way we express and interpret love. And if we aren't aware of our partners' love languages, we will give them love the way we want to receive it. This was an epiphany for me. Knowing that my predominant love language is Words of Affirmation really helped my partner for whom Acts of Service means love...and vice versa.

There's a quiz on the website and you have to choose to take it as a husband, a wife, or a single. It's the same set of questions framed differently by role. Definitely worth your time.

"But you've got to be tough when consumed by desire
'Cause it's not enough just to stand outside the fire
Life is not tried, it is merely survived
When you're standing outside the fire"
Garth Brooks and Jenny Yates

Last edited by AutumnalTone; 09-03-2011 at 09:13 AM.
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book recommendations, love languages, love style, personality test

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