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  #11  
Old 09-01-2011, 03:17 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
My only complaint is with her general sweep that people with mental health issues should be avoided at all cost. I don't think that is fair.... he experience maybe, but not everyone's...

I think its a good heads up to relationships of any kind in life really.
I don`t think she ever wrote that.

I do believe ( haven`t checked to verify) if memory serves me correctly, her stance is that you should think twice about dating anyone with any kind of mental health issue if they HAVEN`T done the neccessary hard work to figure out what works for themselves both through meds and therapy.

I think her point was that polyamory is hard enough, and adding in someone with a uncontrolled/undiagnosed/unstable issue is going to be very hurtful to all in the long-run.
Many people with good intentions, think their love will 'fix' whatever ails their poly partners. Even those with mental health issues understand that they themselves, have to want, desire, and choose to do whats best for their own self, in order to live up to their full potential. ( and be good partners to others.)
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  #12  
Old 09-04-2011, 11:59 PM
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Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
I don`t think she ever wrote that.

I do believe ( haven`t checked to verify) if memory serves me correctly, her stance is that you should think twice about dating anyone with any kind of mental health issue if they HAVEN`T done the neccessary hard work to figure out what works for themselves both through meds and therapy.)
She says its her experience and as the whole article is a rant then I guess that's fair enough.
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  #13  
Old 09-08-2011, 06:17 AM
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Hmm. I think it's unfair to tell a jealous partner to own up to their feelings and deal with them if you have, in the past, actually cheated on them. However, people who have been cheated on in ANY past relationship may harbour some real jealousy issues, no matter how responsible and safe their new partners may be. That is some of the emotional baggage they will have to sort out themselves eventually. It can get very tiring to constantly apologize for something others have done in the past.
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  #14  
Old 09-10-2011, 03:15 PM
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My ex was 100% the narcissistic poly. I've never heard it described so succinctly. Interesting article.
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  #15  
Old 09-10-2011, 08:36 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
My only complaint is with her general sweep that people with mental health issues should be avoided at all cost. I don't think that is fair.... he experience maybe, but not everyone's...

I think its a good heads up to relationships of any kind in life really.
Avoided at all costs? Nah. I dod think people should think long and hard about the Buckets O' Crazy potential partners carry, though. Some buckets are easier to deal with than others.
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  #16  
Old 09-10-2011, 08:38 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
However, people who have been cheated on in ANY past relationship may harbour some real jealousy issues, no matter how responsible and safe their new partners may be. That is some of the emotional baggage they will have to sort out themselves eventually. It can get very tiring to constantly apologize for something others have done in the past.
I'd say they have an obligation to settle those issues prior to engaging in any new relationships. I categorically refuse to apologize for anything I've not done. I refuse to help carry that sort of baggage--they can carry it themselves or get rid of it.
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While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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  #17  
Old 09-12-2011, 06:25 AM
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I can understand why she'd be cautious about that. I'm in therapy right now and it makes a huge difference. I'd be hesitant to get involved with some one who refused to get help for mental health issues. In fact, that's been a big problem in my relationship with my mother. It shows a lack of self-awareness and/or the ability to seek help when you need it. Those are important qualities to me in some one that I look for.
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