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  #1  
Old 05-18-2011, 04:09 PM
saevuscorvax saevuscorvax is offline
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Default Penis size and sexual enjoyment.

Hello everyone.

I am a long time lurker, posting for the first time. I have a question, but first some context.

I am involved in a primary relationship with a woman, and we both have secondarys as well.

For X or Y reason, recently, we have both spent a lot more time with our secondaries.

This week we set it aside to reconnect with each other. However, we came across a problem.

Her secondary is VERY well endowed. From what I understand, the term "Monster" can be applied. I am average.

This is not a question of insecurity. We already got past that.

The problem is, since they have been spending a lot more time recently, thus sleeping together a lot more, she is very stretched out. VERY.

To the point that when we tried to make love, we had a hard time feeling each other. It was a very hurtful experience. We both ended up crying and unsure of what to do.

Now, the physical aspect is simple enough. She just needs to not sleep with him for a while to get back to her normal size. Not a big deal.

However, it has left us with a deep emotional scar. We have had a hard time reconnecting since then, and it has been a struggle to be comfortable with any physicality.

On my end, of course, I am somewhat apprehensive to be inside her again, for fear of not being able to please her. She feels the same towards me.

Any advice on how to proceed with this? Obviously she will continue her secondary relationship, and I fully support this - I just don't know what the best way for us to proceed will be.

Thank you in advance for anything you might have to say. This forum has been a fantastic source of information for a while now.
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  #2  
Old 05-18-2011, 05:28 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Kegel exercises.

She tones up her muscles and will be able to accomodate each of you without issue.
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:29 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Hey Saevu,

Not to be blunt, but there's a lot more to sex than peni/vag penetration.
Are ALL openings that stretched ?
Autumnal hit one tool for helping there. In the meantime, there's lots of things to explore and enjoy. Open your mind. Get creative. It's all fun and the possibilities are almost endless.

GS
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Old 05-18-2011, 06:52 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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How odd. Call me cynical, but I again sense someone with a cuckolding fetish. ("Oh her lover is so huge, I am so small and inadequate!" It's a humiliation thing.)

Womens' vaginas are made to expand and contract to accommodate anything from a finger/tampon to a 10 pound baby. I've had plenty of sex with multiple partners in the same week, from a thick 8 or 9 incher down to a medium thickness 4 1/2 incher... with no difference in my vagina being able to expand or contract to envelope either size penis comfortably and erotically.

Vaginas don't "stretch." If they did, my 10'2" firstborn would've made it impossible for me to keep a tampon in post-pregnancy! I find frequent sex/masturbation keeps my vaginal muscles so toned, I don't need to do Kegels. I can get tight enough when I cum to pull a condom right off! I need to be careful sometimes, heh.
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Old 05-18-2011, 07:38 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Yeah, I call (possible) bullshit on the original post.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 05-18-2011 at 07:53 PM.
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Old 05-18-2011, 07:46 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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It doesn't have any of the characteristics of spam, other than the title. But it is odd to see something like this as someone's very first post. They usually introduce themselves and THEN talk about their penis(es) in another thread.

So, OP, are you for real, or are you messing with us? Answer, pls.
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Old 05-19-2011, 06:48 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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so how about don't see him as much and or factor time in after she does see him where you don't have sex. Personally I think buddy would be on his own f it were me... sorry, no pussy for you kind of thing. Maybe I could give in other ways.

That would really be alarming. I can totally see how this would be a very painfully emotional issue. Let us know if she gets back to the original size?

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Old 05-20-2011, 06:47 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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saevuscorvax what is it about this that has your communication stumped? Is it the strangeness of it? You say you are over the size thing, but are you really? Does it feel like defeat that this man had a bigger cock than you? Are you in some way disappointed in her that she allowed him to do this too her body? Or something along those lines...

Do you feel that your not being able to satisfy each other the way you wish has put a wrench in an otherwise good relationship? What kind of issues have you had to work on before? Is this the first major one? Maybe its a matter of having not had to use bigger skills of communicating?

Maybe taking a break from trying to communicate might be an idea... perhaps just gaining closeness and connection again with each other might help... perhaps this has triggered something deeper about your connection that you are both not able to verbalize yet.
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