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Old 05-01-2011, 02:01 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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Default How to handle this?

Ok, so LT and I posted an ad on craigslist looking for another cpl....We got a few responses from couples, and a LOT of responses from single guys just wanting to fuck LT. LOL They got deleted, and most of the cpls did too. HOWEVER, we DID respond to one cpl. We met them one day for coffee at Starbucks. We all sat, in the sun, for 4 hours talking. LT and I explained to them, that we desired a sexual relationship with them as well as a more mental one. They said that was what they were looking for also. They assured us that there were no jealousy issues.

They were nice enough, and easy-ish to talk to. So LT and I scheduled a second "date" with them. They bailed last minute. Citing the male's insecurities....down there. Anyway, LT and I talked to them, and tried to re-assure them that wasn't an issue, as we are built the way we are built and that we liked them for who they were so far, not just physically.

We scheduled for another day. This time, we decided to go for a motorcycle ride. It was enjoyable. We all joked and had a good time. Nothing sexual happened at all. It was still VERY enjoyable.

So, now we are up to speed....Well, last night, we went over to their place, and LT gave the male a professional massage. Now, while she did that, I sat on the couch talking with the female half, in the front room. Things were going well. Then she and I got into a (fully clothed) pillow fight. We were laughing and having a good time. Well, the male half didn't like that apparently, and told me later that I needed to slow down, and that jealousy hit him.

He actually took me outside to tell me this. While he and I were outside, the wife asked my wife is we were seeing anyone else and said they thought that we were exclusive when dating a couple. LT explained to her that we usually ARE Exclusive when dating a couple, but that we didn't feel we were in a "relationship" with them yet.

We are thinking we just want to keep it a friendship if that with them. So...How do we tell them this? We have a suspicion that they are flagging our ads on Craigslist on a regular basis. So they are somewhat stalker-ish.
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Old 05-01-2011, 03:02 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post


We are thinking we just want to keep it a friendship if that with them. So...How do we tell them this? We have a suspicion that they are flagging our ads on Craigslist on a regular basis. So they are somewhat stalker-ish.
Yopu know your situation better than any of us ever could aspire to; you're telling us this and asking US what you should do?

I would block the fuck out of them and get into the witness-protection program, and have plastic surgery on top of that just to err on the side of caution.

But that's just me. You asked.
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Old 05-01-2011, 03:40 PM
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LT4everu2 LT4everu2 is offline
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wow he(the other guy) just sent me a message on facebook: thank again L 'but now the problem is the want for more.
I sat there going WTF just last night my hubby was going to fast with a pillow fight while you was getting a massage in another room. Wow some ppl.
And no drinking last night so he cant say he was drunk.
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Old 05-01-2011, 04:48 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Just tell them you both feel it's not going to work out, wish them well, and say "Take care." If they get in touch again, ask them not to contact you anymore.


Did you give them your real numbers? Or a Google Voice phone number? I love GV, it forwards to your phone(s), receives texts and voicemails, and you can block people, who never had your real phone number to begin with.

If you think your ads are being flagged on CL, maybe start re-wording them so it looks like they're coming from different people for a while. They might not think it's you. Or maybe there's just someone going around flagging couples ads.
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Old 05-01-2011, 04:53 PM
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LT4everu2 LT4everu2 is offline
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Did you give them your real numbers? Or a Google Voice phone number? I love GV, it forwards to your phone(s), receives texts and voicemails, and you can block people, who never had your real phone number to begin with.
Wow never heard of this before now. SO going to do this now. TY
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Old 05-01-2011, 09:30 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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YIKES! I agree that honesty is the best policy. You said yourself that you aren't in a relationship with them yet. I also love the idea of that google voice!! Thank you for that valuable bit of information!!

Good luck and keep us posted on how things go.
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Old 05-03-2011, 03:24 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Originally Posted by LT4everu2 View Post
I sat there going WTF just last night my hubby was going too fast with a pillow fight while you was getting a massage in another room. Wow some ppl.
Yeah, this is the one that rang the alarm bells for me, too!

Really seems like he has some serious issues with insecurity to work through. (Also because of "the male's insecurities....down there")

Hey! I love massages AND pillow fights!
But I'm not a couple...

Reason for Editing: to finish off comment I'd started, but then had to store in a hurry and shut down the computer.
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Last edited by MrFarFromRight; 05-03-2011 at 06:01 PM.
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Old 05-03-2011, 09:01 PM
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LT4everu2 LT4everu2 is offline
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Hey! I love massages AND pillow fights!
But I'm not a couple...
Well I would massage u but can't pillow fight. And you are a long was away
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Old 05-03-2011, 11:11 PM
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TL4everu2 TL4everu2 is offline
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LOL Yeah, Spain is a bit of a distance. And we are FAR too poor to travel THAT far on a semi regular basis.
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Old 05-03-2011, 11:22 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LT4everu2 View Post
Well I would massage u but can't pillow fight. And you are a long was away
Quote:
Originally Posted by TL4everu2 View Post
LOL Yeah, Spain is a bit of a distance. And we are FAR too poor to travel THAT far on a semi regular basis.
I consider myself virtually massaged and knocked upside the head with a down-filled pillow. Thanks, guys!
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If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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