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  #1  
Old 10-13-2009, 03:02 PM
lola lola is offline
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Default Beginning my Poly life

Hi all. I've only realized that I am Poly in the last couple of years. Now, I'm beginning a possible poly journey. Married to my Mono husband who is allowing me this venture. He has his bad days, which seem to spark severe guilt in me.

I actually was searching here looking for discussions about guilt. It seems easy to say "don't live it" but not so easy to figure out how to not take it upon one's self.

I realized that part of why I feel such guilt is because I don't understand myself and what it means to be Poly. I am not choosing this, even tho' I am choosing to live it now...I am poly. I am made this way. But, being raised in our mono world, I do find that I get trapped by my own self criticism.

I'm hoping by having other poly folks to talk to that I will start to get more comfortable in this skin and realize that I needn't feel guilty for what I am.

Lola
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  #2  
Old 10-13-2009, 04:06 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Welcome to the boards.

I'm at a loss as to how to help right now. It's been so long since I dealt with that sort of guilt that I suspect it'll take a while to recall how I worked through it--what worked for me and what didn't. Somebody else is likely to have more recent experience to share, though.

I'll suggest starting a discussion on the New to Poly board about this.
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  #3  
Old 10-13-2009, 04:23 PM
lola lola is offline
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Default tks

Thank you for the reply. Congrats on having a long and successful poly journey.
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  #4  
Old 10-13-2009, 05:25 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I understand what you are saying-still going through the same things here.
I'm finding that just getting to know people here on the board helps A LOT. Read read read!
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"Love As Thou Wilt"
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  #5  
Old 10-13-2009, 06:24 PM
lola lola is offline
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Thank you. Glad to hear there is help to be had.
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  #6  
Old 10-13-2009, 07:52 PM
HappiestManAlive HappiestManAlive is offline
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Welcome!

Guilt... Is like jealousy. Neither one is real, they are both symptoms of an underlying issue asking for resolution. It's strange how hard that is to grasp at first, and how AMAZINGLY easy it is to practive once you decide to be honest with yourself. When you feel guilty, ask yourself WHY, and LISTEN to your own answer. It probably won't be something you want to hear, or that will be easy to hear. If it was, you wouldn't have left it unaddressed in the first place!!! ;-)
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