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Old 03-03-2011, 01:58 AM
bkreader bkreader is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 9
Default What to talk about?

My wife and I recently decided to start talking about having an open marriage. We're still figuring things out, but we're both interested in it. I know that communication is the best way to make any relationship work, and it gets more important the more people are involved. Can anyone suggest specific things to discuss with her?
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Old 03-03-2011, 02:42 AM
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Derbylicious Derbylicious is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Victoria BC
Posts: 1,603

Start talking about how you'll bring things up with each other when issues come up. Talk about boundaries, starting with what you're both comfortable with right now. Talk about what your expectations of each other are. What are needs that you both need met from each other.
Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok it's not the end.
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Old 03-03-2011, 03:20 AM
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crushed crushed is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Twin Cities
Posts: 9

my husband and I began an open marriage a year ago. we have a marriage counselor that deals with polyamorous relationship dynamics and it has been wonderful. You really need to be open and honest and go in to your discussion with a clear mind and heart - not with hurt, jealousy, insecurity so that you can talk level headed.
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Old 03-03-2011, 03:56 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083
Default Books

Why not buy some books on poly, like Opening Up or Love Without Limits. Take turns reading them, or read them together, and discuss things that pique your curiosity or prompt a strong reaction in you.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
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Old 03-03-2011, 06:00 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

why not read here and see what interests you... do tag searches and see what you find in the tag cloud... look at the thread poly foundations and the other poly lessons we have learned... read about jealousy, communication, boundary negotiation, definitions... really, if you read beyond the thread you started you are bound to come up with something to say....

In no time at all, if you follow this route of "open" you will wish there was some silence!
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Old 03-03-2011, 06:53 AM
lovemultiplied lovemultiplied is offline
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: sunny san diego
Posts: 30

boundaries/rules... discuss how you'll handle jealousy, manage your time and balance... what you're looking for... what you think a poly relationship can do to enhance... what you want from each other... what happens if/when you fall for someone else (how to maintain the solid primary relationship)... etc....

It's an amazing lifestyle with so much potential for fulfillment and love.
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