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Old 08-30-2009, 04:55 PM
LadyMacbeth LadyMacbeth is offline
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Default Story of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth

I thought I would post a more lengthy version of our story because I've enjoyed being able to write about and receive comments about our story.

Macbeth and I have been married for 15 years, and have jokingly talked about opening our relationship for years. We only began the conversation seriously about three weeks ago. Since doing so, our communication has improved one thousand fold and has made an already rock solid relationship better. Not that there haven't been lots of emotional roller coaster trips in the last three weeks. We've both cried more than we ever have in our entire lives.

One of the most wonderful things for me has been that I finally felt safe enough to tell Macbeth some secrets from my past. Without going into detail, 10 years ago I engaged in infidelity. I had never told him, although had spent three years in intensive psychotherapy to work through and to decide if I should ever tell him. I had decided not to, because I felt it could only cause him pain and while I might feel better "coming clean," he wouldn't. He had all of the emotions one would appropriately expect, and was able to eventually express gratitude that I could finally tell him, and he agreed that he wouldn't have been able to work through it at any other time in our relationship. I also was able to tell him things he had done to hurt me, and we have never been closer.

We had to explore whether or not it was time to actually pursue others given my disclosure. We have decided to pursue but to take it slowly, since we both recognize that "ethical" nonmonogamy will be corrective for both of us, and help us both be true to who we are.

So, about my boyfriend...we met while in a play together. Macbeth and I have been in the theatre since we met 17 years ago. He and I were both in a production of Little Women, but did not play romantic opposites. I shared a love story (playing the role of Meg) with the person who is now my bf. This was long prior to our discussion of opening our relationship. I had closed off feelings of attraction or affection with my bf, I am certain due to the "dangers" of the Brad/Angelina issues with playing opposite someone romantically. Macbeth was also playing a romantic opposite with someone else.

Shortly after the serious discussions began, my eyes opened to my bf, and I realized that what I felt was attraction in addition to great friendship. Actually, during our first conversation (Macbeth and myself) we listed all the people we know and who me might be interested in, and the bf was not on my list. I immediately informed Macbeth of my attraction. There are complications given a great deal of social involvement and a pre-existing friendship between Macbeth and the bf. In fact, the bf worked in the identical position at the local television station immediately following Macbeth leaving the job. We discussed taking it slow with the bf, not knowing how he would respond.

The bf and I had spent a great deal of time together both backstage, on-stage, and with play-dates (our daughters are good friends.) I suggested we watch a movie (at his home) together and to wait for an opening. Later, we went to the Goodwill (we're both treasure hunters) and had a great time with a good opening in which he commented "it's so great that your husband is comfortable with you spending time alone with me." I stated, "he's comfortable with a lot of things." I then mentioned we have an open relationship. Things moved forward from there and the bf confessed to having a long secret "crush," that he had believed was "obvious" to everyone in our social circle. In fact, he had been nervous that my husband would corner him during a social event to tell him to "stop looking at my wife." He confessed to actually ending a dating relationship because he couldn't stop thinking about me. All extremely flattering.

Things have progressed from there to regular jogging (something Macbeth can't do because of his knees) and some lovely kissing and holding. I've decided to wait for any further progression until we've resolved jealousy, guilt, and other issues.

Then, onto the scene, Macbeth has a few prospects! I've felt the need to hold in some of my own NRE. Now that Macbeth has some NRE going, we are both absolutely excited! Macbeth has called my "other" a boyfriend now. We are planning on going to the local mani/pedi shop to get extra cute, and even have done a little shopping for each other. It is unspeakably fun. He just joined OKCupid and asked me to look through the matches for him, which I found fun and erotic.

We'll be posting updates as they come...my bf is coming home from a long weekend trip to Seattle. As we speak Macbeth is in a wonderful IM session with a prospect, and I can't wait to see how things unfold.

Thanks for reading!
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Old 09-11-2009, 09:01 PM
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Macbeth Macbeth is offline
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I didn't realize that LM had already started a blog over here, but for those who are interested and didn't see it, there is an update in this thread!
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Old 10-16-2009, 01:52 PM
LadyMacbeth LadyMacbeth is offline
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Default Musings after a few months!

I had a birthday on September 16, and realized it was the most wonderful birthday I have had because I feel a new truth in my life. The first couple of months in our poly lifestyle had many of the normal ups and downs I've heard described repeatedly while reading these forums. Macbeth struggled with jealousy and envy related to the deepening relationship with my boyfriend, he struggled with finding someone and had envy of my closeness with my boyfriend.

I often felt ready to throw in the towel. Macbeth continually told me he was accepting of the relationship developing, but whenever he had difficult emotions I felt the need to rescue.

On my birthday he gave me the most beautiful gift I could imagine. A charm bracelet with three charms, one representing him, one me, one my boyfriend. He reminded me that any time I might doubt his acceptance, I could touch these charms and know this is the lifestyle we both want.

Only a mere week after this difficulty, Macbeth made a nice connection, and is now seeing two other women. Both relationships are developing nicely, and my relationship with my secondary is deepening daily. Many thanks for the wisdom shared on these forums.
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Old 10-17-2009, 09:58 PM
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greenearthal greenearthal is offline
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Thanks to both of you for sharing your experiences so far.
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Old 10-21-2009, 04:34 PM
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Macbeth Macbeth is offline
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Thought I'd give an update on where I'm at, as well.

Things are definitely going well for me. As LM said, I have met two nice women, and have made good connections with both of them. There is a bit of an imbalance in one of them, but that's mainly due to the fact that she's not truly poly. I enjoy spending time with her, but I don't believe I'm as 'in to her' as she is to me.

The second one is a completely different story. We had quite a bit of online communication, and met for the first time about a week ago. All I can say is . . . OMG! The connection was almost instantaneous, and very, VERY strong. We've seen each other three times since then, and while we've both commented on how we feel like we should be thinking it's moving fast, it really doesn't feel that way. The emotional, mental, and physical connection is almost mind-blowing. Plus, she's genuinely poly, which is a nice thing. I would say that she is just what I needed to put the last piece in place and make my poly transformation complete.

Of course, I'm worried now that my other friend, who has stated that she doesn't want to know about anyone else I may be seeing, is going to make continued and increasing demands on my time. I think a talk is most likely coming soon, and that doesn't sound fun to me.
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Old 10-21-2009, 04:51 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Macbeth View Post

Of course, I'm worried now that my other friend, who has stated that she doesn't want to know about anyone else I may be seeing, is going to make continued and increasing demands on my time. I think a talk is most likely coming soon, and that doesn't sound fun to me.

There are some folks who might think that "polyamory" is just another way of distancing oneself from an existing marriage or "committed" relationship in preparation of transitioning out of that relationship.

Maybe your girlfriend thinks that if she holds out long enough, you'll leave your wife and other GF's to be with her only.

Just my thoughts. You seem to have a good grasp on things.
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