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Old 06-10-2014, 04:38 PM
jewelz jewelz is offline
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So many people gave me some good advice last time, so I'm back for some more.

Our poly is new to us and we are all taking it very slow. But this morning the other female part of our group seemed very upset( lives in our house, but as her own space). How do you bring up sensitive subjects? I want to ask her if myself and hubby having sex bothers her. But just not sure how in the world to bring something like that up.

She is the one I used to talk with about things like this and now I'm not sure that I can. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable with him and I just because we are having sex and she is not. Like I have said this is a slow going thing between the 3 of us.

Any ideas and help would be great.
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Old 06-10-2014, 06:50 PM
KC43 KC43 is offline
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I might ask her if there's anything about the living arrangement that's bothering her, and if so, does she want to talk about it. That way, you aren't mentioning a potentially uncomfortable subject specifically, and you're opening the door communication-wise.
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Old 06-10-2014, 08:38 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jewelz View Post
I don't want her to feel uncomfortable with him and I just because we are having sex and she is not.
Why isn't she having sex with him? Is she on her period or something? It might not be that you are and she isn't, also. Maybe she just feels awkward hearing it; in which case, if you've invited her to live with you, it's probably good manner to be quiet. Or have sex when she isn't around.
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Old 06-10-2014, 10:32 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
Why isn't she having sex with him? Is she on her period or something? It might not be that you are and she isn't, also. Maybe she just feels awkward hearing it; in which case, if you've invited her to live with you, it's probably good manner to be quiet. Or have sex when she isn't around.
Maybe it wasn't her night? You don't have to be noisy for people to assume you are having sex. Like at bedtime for instance

OP if it were me I wouldn't bring it up. If you are involved in a poly relationship then dealing with you partner having sex with others us something she will just have to get over. I think going to her would set a precedent. When she has an issue she wants to talk about shell come around
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Old 06-10-2014, 10:38 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Maybe it wasn't her night?
Maybe. I feel like this is the kind of thing that should be discussed BEFORE moving in together.
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Old 06-11-2014, 12:53 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
Maybe. I feel like this is the kind of thing that should be discussed BEFORE moving in together.
It should be discussed. BUT discussing it doesn't mean you aren't going to have emotions about it.

Theoretical acceptance often doesn't pan out to automatically feeling acceptance when you experience the situation.
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Old 06-11-2014, 04:25 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Quote:
But this morning the other female part of our group seemed very upset( lives in our house, but as her own space). How do you bring up sensitive subjects?
How about something like "You seem upset this morning. Are you doing ok? Anything you want to talk about?"

Keep it simple. Open the door to discussion, but let her own it. If she wants to talk, she can. If not, not.

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