Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-20-2014, 11:57 PM
Ryan3232 Ryan3232 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Malibu, CA
Posts: 34
Arrow Co-habitation/Communal Living

Hey everyone, I was researching some more poly stuff, and I was curious about your thoughts on the following: How do poly couples/singles/families feel about the idea of co-habitation?

More specifically, with some families struggling and their being a shortage in California (where I live) for affordable houses & rentals, I am wondering if people are open to such an idea of living together with another poly family to make it more affordable & cost efficient.

Here is an article that I read while researching:

http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2014/...ousing-crisis/

Moreover, I am not going to take credit for coming up with the idea myself, I saw a profile question on www.beyondtwo.com asking whether an individual/couple/family would be interested in co-habitation...

It seems like a potential solution to a growing problem, so just trying to think outside the box.

Let me know.

Thanks.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-21-2014, 12:28 AM
Dagferi's Avatar
Dagferi Dagferi is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,448
Default

I prefer having two separate households.

My kids and I travel between my two homes.

I am too Alpha to share my home with another adult female. My husbands are the same way. The only way that would change would be in the event of a zombie apocalypse or a Mad Max type situation.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 50/50 split of time between my two husbands.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-21-2014, 01:16 AM
Ryan3232 Ryan3232 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Malibu, CA
Posts: 34
Default stiveme different

Totally understandable, but for those less alpha or dominant than you, do you think it a viable solution or option to solve housing problems? Especially, I am thinking in the context of a situation where families are both poly, struggling to find an affordable house, and would like to be more cost efficient.

Ryan
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-21-2014, 01:31 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 9,052
Default

Why does it have to be poly families? A poly household could share with anyone who is open-minded, they don't have to be poly.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-21-2014, 01:40 AM
Ryan3232 Ryan3232 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Malibu, CA
Posts: 34
Default

It absolutely does not have to be poly.

I was solely focused on this type of situation in the poly context.

I think you might be onto something if poly & non-poly families were able to share a household. I think this would improve the effectiveness and viability of such an option, would you agree?

Ryan
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-21-2014, 01:59 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 9,052
Default

Er, what are you getting at, exactly? Your questions are not making sense to me. Combining poly and mono households would "improve the effectiveness and viability of" what? Sharing a home? I don't see the correlation. People who need to save money by sharing a house will seek out others. If two households find each other, the adults in charge will hopefully interview perspectives and check references before jumping into any commitments with them. If they get along, great. If not, find someone else. I don't know how this has anything to do with a group's chosen approach to relationships. If a poly family (or any family) wants to live in a communal type situation, like an intentional community, the process is similar. They are out there and one just has to do their research.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-21-2014, 03:03 PM
Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Crazytown USA
Posts: 1,778
Default

Its very feasible for me to have sam move into our converted garage if he and I choose to have a baby. It wouldn't make sense for us to maintain 2 separate households if I have young children with both my partners. I could live with a submissive female but if I have sam living with ua we won't have any room for anyone else, esp if they have their own kids.
__________________
done with poly, the end.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-21-2014, 03:04 PM
Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Crazytown USA
Posts: 1,778
Default

We will not sell our family home, my daughters were born in the kitchen, we are quite attached.
__________________
done with poly, the end.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-21-2014, 03:16 PM
Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Crazytown USA
Posts: 1,778
Default

Ive spent a good chunk of my life cohabitating with others but it was either them in my home or me in their home. The only time it felt equal was when we moved into a new space together and started from scratch. There is just a different dynamic (to me) when one enters another's space.
__________________
done with poly, the end.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-21-2014, 05:17 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inyourendo View Post
Ive spent a good chunk of my life cohabitating with others but it was either them in my home or me in their home. The only time it felt equal was when we moved into a new space together and started from scratch. There is just a different dynamic (to me) when one enters another's space.
I am not sure I would have considered it before. I am not a fan of living with people unless I have control (landlord etc)..

This is a unique situation and one I am not sure I personally could repeat again. We have 4 people that generally mesh well. I am really not a very communal person.. haha
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
#beyondtwo, #curious, #wsj

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:37 PM.