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Old 03-14-2014, 09:01 AM
Amanita Amanita is offline
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: All over the place
Posts: 27
Question More descriptive terms for metamours

Hi all,

I was wondering whether any of you have discovered/invented other ways to describe or name the relationships you have with your metamours? 'Metamour' seems to be a very functional term to me - it describes the position of both parties in a relationship, but doesn't really say anything about what kind of relationship you have with each other. Daedalea and I have been talking about this, because we all signed up to FetLife recently and there simply isn't a category for for us (they don't even use metamour over there). So she and Astraeus can describe themselves as being polyamorous with each other, but there's no way for she and I to indicate the special relationship we have with each other.

To clarify, we have a deep, loving, adventurous and at times hilarious friendship with each other that is based not only on our mutual love for Astraeus but also on the fact that we have a lot in common anyway (we probably would have become friends even if there hadn't been anything with Astraeus). The other day we described it as a sort of combination of friendship and sisterhood, which made us think of sister-wives (without the religious connotations). I think we are pretty much everything just short of being in a triad, really. Up till now she's been describing me as her sweetie's wife with whom she gets on very well, and I've been calling her my husband's sweetie who I love dearly too, but we'd like something a bit simpler, naturally :P

Any thoughts, ideas or own inventions?

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Old 03-14-2014, 09:54 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,390

I've heard things like co-wives and co-husbands but that implies a) a marriage-like relationship for both relationships mentioned and b) that the two metamours are the same gender. Although I guess co-spouse would fix the latter, and co-partner might fix both?
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Old 03-14-2014, 09:57 AM
london london is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635

"I have a close, loving, independent realtionship with my metamour"
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Old 03-14-2014, 01:27 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,710

The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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Old 03-14-2014, 01:47 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

No I haven't really. Friend is a good one

Too many labels in this corporate polyamory. I will stick to the simple ones.

Ironically I used to be a label maker. Much simpler now
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Old 03-14-2014, 02:01 PM
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Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Crazytown USA
Posts: 1,225

When nate was with Jane I just called her nates girlfriend if I was referencing their relationship. If referencing my relationship with her id call her my friend. All others have been "the chick nate is fooling around with" I don't consider his fuck buddies as my metamores. I've never even met most of them unless its the ones who he met through me but I again would refer them as friends if im describing my relationship with them
Sue, hinge in a vee with Nate (Polysexual) and Sam (monogamous)
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Old 03-14-2014, 03:17 PM
happytovee happytovee is offline
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 28

We've come up against this issue too. My boyfriend's wife and I are very close friends but the terminology is tough. She's not my best friend or sister; those roles are taken. Girlfriend implies a sexual relationship which isn't the case. Friend isn't enough. Sister wife is closest but implies religious aspects so what to use?? So far we say my boyfriend's wife or husband's girlfriend but that doesn't show our close friendship. Ugh!
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