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  #1  
Old 02-27-2014, 11:50 AM
ate2007 ate2007 is offline
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Default Sex wait

So how long do you wait for sex in a new relationship?
I've with my GF for about 3, going on 4 months. We've made out and touched and everything but no sex. She's a total tease, too, which makes it hard for me not to jump her when I see her. She wants to take it slow but...jeez, how is 3-4 months not slow? Am I being impatient? How long should I wait?
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Old 02-27-2014, 12:54 PM
london london is offline
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For me, it would depend on why she wants to wait.
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Old 02-27-2014, 12:58 PM
ate2007 ate2007 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by london View Post
For me, it would depend on why she wants to wait.
She says she wants to wait in order to build a solid foundation for a relationship...
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Old 02-27-2014, 01:01 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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2nd date. Life is short.
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Old 02-27-2014, 01:01 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Neither you or your gf are in the wrong. But either you are okay with waiting or you break up. Not much else you can do...
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Old 02-27-2014, 01:27 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Waiting is well within her right. Obviously she has her reasons. Perhaps she has been burned in the past and learned from her mistakes. Perhaps the foundation in your relationship is not as strong as she would prefer. Talk to her without interjecting your need for the physical. Or you can respect it, break up amicably, or get your needs met elsewhere.
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Old 02-27-2014, 01:37 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Are you two virgins?
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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Old 02-27-2014, 02:45 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Well, given that you go away painfully aroused and unsatisfied every time you see her, and yet:

Quote:
She says she wants to wait in order to build a solid foundation for a relationship...
... ask her what that "solid foundation" looks like for her. Have long and deep discussions about what trust and safety feels like for her.

Meanwhile, like london said, cut it out with the makeout sessions to reduce your physical pain.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #9  
Old 02-27-2014, 05:00 PM
juber juber is offline
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I'm new here and thought I was coming here for advice but I keep wanting to comment so I hope that's okay.

I'm not a woman but from my perspective I think the general consensus is "More communication." You need to help her come to an understanding of what her comfort level is now and where it needs to be. Be honest about the fact that you are very excited to be physical but if you need to build a foundation first, take heavy petting off the table. Occasional passionate kisses, holding hands, and many other ways of being physically close do not involve touching each others naughty bits.

Also, no matter how tempting it is to go ahead and make out for fun (and in the hopes maybe this time it will go further), I would say keep building other aspects of the relationship and building non-physical intimacy.

Talk about future and each others dreams. Talk about each others past troubles and find ways to comfort each other. In my experience that type of intimacy building leads to sex in a close relationship.
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Old 02-28-2014, 04:14 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I wait until both people are comfortable moving to that step. Shrug.
In some cases it's been a matter of days. In other cases a matter of years.
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