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Old 02-24-2014, 08:22 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Location: US
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Default A Plea for Nicknames

Disclaimer: I'm not a mod or anything like that here. What I say is just my personal thoughts.

So, onward...

I urge folks who post here, even if not regularly, to assign nicknames to important people they reference in their posts. That usually means partners and metamours, but often includes children, friends, and other family members.

I, personally, cannot keep track of who is who using just initials. I just lose track. It's seems most people date an 'M' or a 'S' sooner or later. I just can't figure out who is who, especially if the cast of characters, so to speak, are many and intertwined - as is often the case. And I get one poster's 'T' mixed up with other 'T's. It's so confusing. I find myself not reading posts where there are a lot of initials. Just too much to figure out.

So, please, figure out some brief descriptive nicknames and use them. I remember nicknames so much better, especially if they are truly descriptive in some way. For example, lots of people have 'Dear Husband' or DH. This is still better than an 'H' as far as my retention of it. But if you provide me with some sort of 'hook' about the person, I will remember it, and be more likely to want to interact, make suggestions or just chat.

And you can always change them if need be. I've done that with how I refer to my ex-wife.

Finally, nicknames are just fun. Have some giggles! My current favorite is 'Punkrockawesomesauce'. I won't forget that! I chuckle whenever LovingRadiance refers to her Peas - her children and grandchildren.

Let's get nicknaming, people!
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Old 02-24-2014, 08:39 PM
kkxvlv kkxvlv is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 87

Could not agree more! I can't follow the initials even with a key in the signature. You know who those people are and can picture them when you're writing but to me they are a letter and they all look the same!
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Old 02-24-2014, 08:40 PM
LoveBunny LoveBunny is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Florida Keys
Posts: 396

Total agreement I can't follow who is who when it's just an initial, and I often find myself skimming such posts, not giving my full attention.
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Old 02-24-2014, 09:02 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 1,155

Wellllll... I abbreviate nicknames.

P is for "partner" - real creative, I know. I can't use DH because it isn't correct, I hate BF because (to me) it sounds very high school, and DP ("dear partner?") has a WHOLE OTHER MEANING. And literally writing "partner" and "metamour" sounds like a 'bot is narrating.

To be honest, I like the level of anonymity. I'd be willing to bet that some folks from the poly groups in our area frequent this board, and probably know M1 at the very least. I don't need her to possibly get ID'd through my venting on a bad day and have it be communicated (or miscommunicated) back to her.

It's not foolproof, but it's another step towards obfuscation. Sorry.

Edited to add:
Of course, after I say that, my brain goes off on a tangent to think about possible nicknames. Point goes to Opalescent for getting my brain to go, "Sure, why not!" after it's already gone, "But I like it this way!"
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 14; and PokéGirl, 12), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In a relationship with Chops. Dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In a relationship with Chops.

External blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk

Last edited by YouAreHere; 02-24-2014 at 09:06 PM.
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Old 02-24-2014, 09:12 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,397

I use my guys nicknames.

Butch is a family nickname for him.

Most of Murf's friends call him such.

My kids are Moose and Squirrel. They got that nickname from my best friend of 20 years. He has a strong German accent and it stuck because he couldn't remember Rocky and Bullwinkle.
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 50/50 split of time between my two husbands.
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Old 02-24-2014, 10:34 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510

I totally agree. When people use letters, I usually just stop reading, because I can't keep it straight.
"Love As Thou Wilt"
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Old 02-24-2014, 11:25 PM
Inyourendo Inyourendo is offline
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Location: Crazytown USA
Posts: 1,778

I just recently made up names for everyone
done with poly, the end.
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Old 03-01-2014, 12:04 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

I have just stopped reading posts with single initials. Becomes hard to follow. I do agree..

besides in the end.. who is going to know who Mark vs M is?.. really and honestly. .. unless you are all trying to remain hidden from each other on this site of course
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Old 03-01-2014, 08:07 AM
Nadya Nadya is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 348

This is a good thread, indeed!

As I first started lurking here on this forum, there were sooo many people using only initials in the posts that I thought this is how it is supposed to be. Then I realized that some people have nicknames for the people in their lives... and I ended up mixing these two. Let's see if I can find a better nickname for my hubby than the two-letter one I am currently using (well, two letters is better than one, right??).
living with
CJ: legal husband and
Mark: partner
dating Jeremy
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Old 03-01-2014, 08:38 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,268

Not only are nicknames easier to read, but they're actually more anonymous than initials. If you're A and your partner is P and your other partner is S, then someone who knows all three of you might be able to put it together. Nicknames, on the other hand, can bear absolutely no relation to the real person. Indeed, you can make them deliberately obscure just to mislead people. For example, Cue has absolutely no interest in pool.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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