Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-18-2014, 07:48 PM
sweetfire88 sweetfire88 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: denver
Posts: 3
Unhappy triad is ruining my oRiginal relationships

Just joined this site for some guidance. I have been with my bf for 4 years. We have always had thrones just for fun very successfully. Recently my bestfriend of 12 years has had a very tough time financially. We have slept with her before and the three of us get along great so my bf and I moved her in with us and decided to all be one beautiful happy triad. We talked about it for weeks before dOing it because the move is out of state. Not long into it her and I both realized this type of relationship will not work for us. My bf hardly wants to acknowledge the fact I am unhappy. She won't talk to him about it. I can tell how terribly disappointed he is. She has also been acting very catty to me and refuses to give him and I alone time, even though I know we need some. All of us are home with eachother constantly. My bf doesn't want to talk to me about her rude behaviour to me and gets annoyed when I bring it up. She gets defensive when I try to talk to her. I live them both more than anything am terrified of the thought of this messing up my relationships. Please any advice would be very highly aPpreciAted!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-18-2014, 08:23 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872
Default

You are being disrespected at every turn. You have tried to communicate..

I don't think you have a lot of options.. they have a term for people like your friend.. cowgirl. Sounds like she might just be one.

Best of luck.. sorry my advice isn't more positive.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-18-2014, 10:05 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 519
Default

Is she a cowgirl...or does she want a very and you're trying to force a triad? You had her move in. ... yiu can't very well kick her out just because she is attracted to him and not you. ...
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-18-2014, 11:07 PM
sweetfire88 sweetfire88 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: denver
Posts: 3
Default

I wouldn't kick her out. She isn't bi and I knew that going into this. Her abd I have been intimate even before the move. I don't think she is trying to be a cowgirl, She has told me she could never imagine being with our bf without me. I just feel disrespected and since her and I understand the triad won't work I wish she would give my bf and I time alone sometimes. I don't appreciate the attitudes I am getting from both if them but just want our relationships to go back to what they were before we had tried this. I don't know hOw to bring it up without problems from them. We have never discussed it not working with all of us present. I just want my best friend and my sneezing relationship back!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-18-2014, 11:35 PM
sweetfire88 sweetfire88 is offline
New Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: denver
Posts: 3
Default

And I guess is it ridiculous of me to ask for her to sleep in the spare room sometimes if we know she is not looking to pursue a future with us, nor I with her.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-19-2014, 05:36 AM
Anneintherain's Avatar
Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 824
Default

It's not ridiculous at all to set up a sleeping schedule or dating schedule so you can each have your alone time with a shared partner.
__________________
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 10:58 PM.