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#1
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Yesterday was my first official Vday in a true poly relationship.
I was able to have lunch with my mate Paul while my primary Thomas was at work. And then dinner with them both and a movie. It went well and smoothly! I am curious how others handle their love days. |
#2
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The more closed it is, the easier I think it is. For example, my partner has a vee with two of us. She has a boyfriend; I currently am dating. I would prefer, if possible, I spent with him. She has never, at least since I've been with him, shown interest in Valentine's Day plans with him. So it's easy for him to give me that time, if I'm available. If not, I am totally on board with him trying to find a date.
It used to be trickier. She didn't care about spending the night with him, but she didn't like him having plans when she didn't. So she would pretend he had nothing else going on and make him do stuff with her at the last minute. He went along, because he still had some of that mono thinking that he had to do this. Very loyal personality. When he realized that he didn't HAVE to do this, he stopped. She's struggling with this, a little, but is getting better... As all of us are getting busier, however, this is becoming less of an issue and the real issue is finding time at all. He and I wanted to spend Valentine's together, but I wasn't able. He also couldn't find a date ![]() |
#3
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Never really had much interest in Valentine's Day, and don't recall celebrating it with my husband. I think it's a really stupid holiday. I prefer my lovers and I to express our love and appreciation for each other every day, and pay no mind to this day of forced adoration.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.
"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry "Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted. |
#4
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#5
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I agree that it is just another day. I am festive tho and enjoy most designated 'holidays' for the fun of it. My primary doesnt have anyone else to really make plans with so sometimes he can feel left out as well. I know for him any time I am with my other would be made easier when he has someone else. For now scheduling hold back the frustration. For instance when he is working And or asleep our plans dont seem to bother him at all. It's that 'home alone' time that gets to him at times.
Both of my lovers and I share a thousand sweet things and have many different dates of importance and share exceptional love and tokens of that often. Just like the silly romance of a set day To do so. I am a lucky woman tho, for me it's Christmas, birthday primary anniv, valentines day and secondary anniv! Lol it's the season of getting for me, even if that 'getting' is just some extra specil time. |
#6
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Even when I was in another relationship--this is the first time in over a decade that I am not--I always spent V-Day with my DH. Our wedding anniversary is the 15th, so the days leading up to and following those days were always spent with him. That has been our tradition since the getting to know each other stage.
I am happy that you enjoyed your V-Day. I treat it like a fun, lighthearted day. Complete with unique gift exchanges. ![]()
__________________
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to... Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 13 years and father of our four children. Closed. My Blog |
#7
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I have always loved Valentine's Day, whether single, mono, or poly
![]() This year, I went wine tasting and then out to Cuban food with Moonlight, and exchanged some light texts with Punk. In past years, I tended to spend the actual day with Fly and Kiddo as a family day, and then had a date on another night with whomever. I don't think celebrating a fun holiday in playful or romantic ways means that you don't show love and appreciation on other days. It's just a time to be extra joyful!
__________________
37/bi/f - Moonlight, single, leans monogamous, girlfriend since 6/2012 - Punk, married guy, poly, FWB since 9/2011 with an emphasis on the "F" - No longer lives with ex-boyfriend Fly (1/2006 - 12/2013, my introduction to nonmonogamy, ultimately amicable breakup), and his 11-year-old son Kiddo |
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